We pitched the following idea to Air India:

A half air fare special: Full air conditioning, and great views. Acres of room for your kids to be loud and obnoxious without interfering with the passengers.

Book early, only 2 spaces available per transatlantic flight.

Air India rejected the idea, saying Asian kids are well behaved when they travel. They wished us luck and suggested we approach the American airlines.

This funny travel story is inspired by a transatlantic flight on Air India, JFK to Heathrow.

Before I get too carried away, I would like to make it perfectly clear that it was a really smooth flight with impeccable service and very tasty food. And for $276, what more do you want?! But as a pisstaker, I am obliged to find the satirical content in a delightful experience.

Air India episode no. 1

Air stewardess: I am sorry, sir, we only have mutton curry.

The self-confessed white Yankee American passenger next to me paled. He wanted bland chicken and made a point of telling everyone around him that his introduction to real Indian food was not going to take place on an airplane.

Fortunately, hunger pains and no choice broadened this man's narrow mind very rapidly and he dug into a hearty meal of mutton and things. He enjoyed it - really.

Air India episode no 2

Captain over intercom: The current time, ladies and gentlemen, is 58 minutes after 7.

Quite a few passengers were looking around in disbelief at the Calcutta captain's abject attempt at telling the time. A neighbor added, "For the benefit of those new to clocks, that means it's 2 minutes to 8!"

And when the plane landed at 7.68, this passenger was relieved to arrive safe and sound, sane and on the ground in one piece, stomach intact.

Thanks Air India for flying a pisstaker so far for so little with so much food and kindly service.

Had any heart-stopping experiences on a plane?

The following travel stories are all true, and involve people I know, bless 'em!

Which street?

A guy gets on a Caribbean island hopper plane from Kingston, he is aiming for Barbados. The plane does a couple of stops before landing at Georgetown. He catches a cab, asking to be taken to so-and-so house on Frederick Street. The cabby looks a bit vacant, but being a cabby, he drives around for a while, before pulling over and asking a passerby if they know where Frederick St is. No idea!

Three people later, someone leans inside the cab and asks the passenger in person,

"Where are you heading exactly?"

He says "So-and-so house on Frederick St."

The guy shakes his head and says, "Well, I've lived here on St Lucia all my life and never heard of Frederick St."

"St Lucia? What, this isn't Barbados?"

Which airport?

A bloke is driving like a maniac North up the New Jersey Turnpike trying to get to the airport in time for his flight. Just as he is pulling off at the exit for Newark, it suddenly dawns on him that he is supposed to be leaving from Philadelphia. Needless to say, he missed his plane.

Which country?

I was sat on a plane in London waiting for take-off, minding my own business. An air stewardess walks up to me and asks me to confirm my name. I tell her.

She asks me if I am heading to Bordeaux. A bit perplexed, I say I am.

She smiles and announces in a very loud voice. "You might be going to Bordeaux, but this plane is headed for Frankfurt. Goodbye."

Talk about doing the walk of shame down the aisle and off the wrong plane. But the sniggers from those passengers were nothing compared to the glares I received walking down the aisle of the plane that I had delayed.

If you are reading this from a feed reader, there may be more up to date posts on the Pisstakers.com