As part of an experiment to see how far they can push their risk aversion, an insurance agent taps a name into the national DNA database. They learn something disturbing. The healthy client applying for life insurance has a genetic disorder and runs a 90% chance of contracting a deadly coronary disease by age 46 - 2 years hence. The insurance company rejects the client's application, without giving specifics beyond "pre-existing condition".

When pressed by an irate client with no known pre-existing conditions, the agent folds and says that according to the medical evidence, they can't carry the risk.

Now the client is really pissed and asks them to be more specific. The agent breaks down and explains the prognosis according to the DNA evidence. Sorry. The agent puts the phone down, assuming it will be another typical day at the office. Wrong!

***********

The dejected, rejected applicant is mortified to learn of his pending doom, from an insurance company. He is doubly annoyed that they would go to such unethical lengths to avoid any risk whatsoever. He is inspired to go to the insurance company office to give them a piece of his mind.

***********

In court, the judge asks the murderer of 6 insurance agents why he did it. His reply sends shivers down the spine of every insurance loss adjuster thinking of using futuristic tests to determine who they will or won't insure.

"By using genetic testing to cover their asses, they proved that I had nothing to lose. I just did what I and millions of others have wanted to do to insurance companies for years."

I wonder if the loss adjusters at the top have thought this scenario through. If so, are they heartless enough to use genetic information in their screening process? Perhaps they are already working out the survival odds for insurance agents who tell clients about a dormant medical condition they would rather not have known about.

Just a thought inspired by a few spineless insurers who won't insure us to live aboard a wooden boat!

Are you hoping to be one of the 10 bloggers reviewed in the 35th episode of MyBlogLog Sunday? If so, you need to be on this site when I start blogging around 10am Sunday. All being well, you will be captured in the screenshot of the MyBlogLog widget nestled in the left sidebar. 340 reviews so far, another 10 can't hurt!

As a bonus, MyBlogLog Sunday is going video again, thanks to OS9 User / Breaking News. If you want the camera to cast a roving eye over your territory on Sunday, put on your make-up and polish up your blog with a simple post or reference to MBL Sunday. A simple move to spur a tidal wave of link love coming your way.

The Breaking News team also have a funny story (in a tragic kind of way). A Korean guy had a hole blown in his chest by an exploding cell phone. OK, it isn't funny per se, but was it really a faulty battery to blame? Maybe he was a wannabe suicide bomber who forgot that you can't do trial runs.

Yakety-yak, help raise the profile of a campaign that encourages comments on blogs. Saturday is deadline day for another round of Comment Kings and Queens at Untwisted Vortex. Bloggers should submit the name and blog URL of their top commenters to RT.

Definition of a comment: A string of words that prove there is life out there beyond a feed reader stat.

Funzooz has plenty of video material that will get most people fired if they watch it at work. Don't trample me in the stampede to check the site out.

I can't find it now, but I liked the one where the girl is sat on the edge of a fountain in a mall, minding her own business. A passer-by tips her in and runs like hell. I was going to make a lame comment about it being a trial run for New Year's celebrations in Trafalgar Square, but my research reveals that the British party-poopers drain the water out the world famous fountains. Oh well. As you were.

Why not leave a comment and tell us about something going on on your blog this week!

Death, taxes and $100 oil are closer today than they were yesterday. But does that mean we are going to die this evening, or hand over taxes tomorrow? No. And neither is $100 oil here this morning, despite the over-blown news of an explosion in a Minnesota pipeline. I think I just need to turn off the TV and get on with life, and leave the news games to them that want to play.

Osama getting close

And talking about news that we don't want to hear, do we have any idea what the bin Laden tape is going to reveal this afternoon? I am amazed by this whole story. Not wishing to sound ignorant, but isn't he dead? Wasn't there an incident a few years ago and he was blown to hell? And if the bombs didn't get him, wasn't there talk that he was suffering from kidney disease and he was on the point of popping his clogs in a cave at any time? I dunno, he is getting more and more like a crazy cartoon character or an Austin Powers anti-hero.Or the Scarlet Pimpernel? They seek him here, they seek him there...

New theme getting close

Talking of pipelines and despotic leaders, I recently posted about some Pisstakers theme changes in the pipeline, and I also intimated that I was going to revamp 1200 posts, by incorporating SmartLinks technology into the theme. Me and my big mouth.

Although the comments about theme changes were positive, I had a feeling I may have overstated the case. In words of one syllable, if you had seen what I had on the drawing board, you would have thought I was a bullshitter too! 2 doodles and a squiggle on the back of a pack of cigarettes doesn't really equate to a face-lift in any language.

And what was I thinking, saying I was going to re-jig 1200 posts? For a start, after a quick count, there are 1300. And for seconds, I don't know 1300 books, movies or cds to Smartlink to. Oops.

But there is nothing like a bit of pressure to bring out the best in a loser like me, so I started Googling for more inspiration. Luckily, I came up with a plan after digesting some useful info which included: a great tutorial on CSS tables; some more info on our pet project, Kiva; a snazzy use of SmartLinks, and a general tip that in web design, evolution is better than revolution...

...and after reading a gigabyte of text, I came away vindicated that ads in sidebars, adsense, sponsored posts and a load of other money-making techniques don't really ad much to the blog experience. All in all, I might actually be onto something and I don't feel so bad about pre-announcing an idea.

Without giving the whole game away, you might see something like this screenshot in key positions around the site. I doubt whether this snippet of info helps much, but you now know a lot more than I knew the day before yesterday.

Ever read The Onion's newspaper? It is quite something to behold and is one of the few rags I would consume cover to cover.

Last month, Fall was cancelled after 3 billion seasons.

It sounds like climate change may finally have changed the way we live. One old guy was asking what he would have to do differently in the wake of manic new weather patterns that change quicker than predictions from weathermen.

My thought was that he would have to wear lots of layers (ie dress like an onion and peel off or add layers as appropriate). The Onion suggested he would have to wear shorts. Oh, how disappointing that they are so one-layered in their thinking.

Study finds working at work improves productivity.

After my experiences at government offices recently, I have to think that the results to this bizarre survey (working improves productivity) would never last 2 seconds in the public domain. A zealous bureaucrat would bury the report or stuff it down the front of their shorts and set fire to themselves - just to save their lazy ass colleagues from being fired for working at a negative rate. If only such martyrs were as dedicated to work as they are to work avoidance!

Conclusion

A liberal smattering of AV movie and music reviews, plus classifieds, mainstream ads and on the back, a shameless plug for the Onion atlas, aka Our Dumb World - this paper adheres to the layout rules of a conventional tabloid newspaper. So, officially, we say that the paper version of The Onion actually passes muster as - a newspaper.

With so much substance, this truly mediocre, I mean, meteoric media star-in-the-making is destined for great things. Check it out the next time you pass a spoof news stand.

I wrote this post at 6pm and can't publish it.

Comcast rip into Verizon with their tortoise ads. The cable guys are bloody jokers and should be sued off the face of the planet for misrepresentation.

100MB/sec Comcast is on the blink yet again, and yet again the high speed Craptastic Crew are being paid a day's worth of many dollars per month for not providing anything but excuses. Where is the slow coach tortoise, Verizon, when you need them? They hardly ever went down in Philly and at a couple of megs per second were plenty fast enough for us.

They say the US is technologically advanced. Really?

A few weeks ago I was dealing with a carpet fitter and he was painstakingly unrolling his tape and measuring the room. It was painful to watch and I was amazed at his archaic ultra-slow technique.

At least 20 years ago back in the UK, I knew a carpet guy who used a wheel to pace out rooms. Easy. I also worked with a scaffolder who used a laser pointer to guage the dimension of rooms and buildings. Even back then, his gizmo was accurate to within a foot either way, and he was a right old poser on sites, making aand winning bets with the old boys who reckoned they could tell the size of things just by looking.

When I asked carpet boy why he didn't use a laser measurer to save his back and save him some time, his answer blew me away. "They haven't got the technology right yet and it isn't reliable." Jeez, how long do you need to perfect a light?

I went to the DMV today and had another insight into inefficient Government hares and tortoises.

To apply for a license you complete two forms, both requiring the exact same info.

You then take them to a desk guy, so he can check the duplicate info and verify 4 pieces of ID.

You then take the 2 forms and the IDs to a desk in the corner and a superviser checks the details. She cackles with "friends" sat next to her, before scribbling a couple of initials on the forms and telling you to stand in line at another desk.

You queue, and then a third official types the info you wrote twice by hand, into a computer. Amazingly, a drop of hi-tech wizardry speeds the process up and a photo license is magically produced 2 minutes later, no human intervention required.

If I were even half-qualified as a time-and-motion specialist, I think I would add some OCR scanner software, remove 80% of the staff and halve the time wasted in a process that was actually quite pleasant compared to visits to other government offices. You know the sort of governement place I am referring to. A humungous room full of screened-off desks staffed by complete tortoises who, I suspect, are probably Comcast customer service rejects.

Hopefully we will be online by tomorrow.

Great Thanksgiving news for the 2 dolphins, Rob and Dede. A new baby from Russia with love, & a new job opportunity. Leaving work early to go change the diapers may be one for the future!

Before revealing 8 self facts, Lena confirms what I believed deep down. I am eating as much chocolate as possible before I die because I don't think there will be any up in heaven. Bookmark

Diane has a great way of weaving stories around her book making. This week, she is reminded of time warps and fashion times best forgotten, (or only revisited under the influence of drugs?)

He is never one to hide his light under a bushel, but now Lord Likely has us all guessing about a playing card & which dubious place a fellow might best conceal it. Enlightened answers on a postcard.

Again Mike hits the money-making nail on the head with 21 quick down and dirty ways to make a free online store pay dividends. And just to make sure there is no misunderstanding, down and dirty is good!

Are We There Yet has arrived with a brilliant new design. To keep up appearances, Linda also vied to become the best dressed blogger ever with some swanky EMS pants. I hope I read the first letter right.

Debbie reports little known facts about lighthouses, this time on Dutch Island. I misread the title, and was about to inform her that there was nothing new about flashing red lights in Dutch windows.

If you want to know what Breaking News are discovering ahead of the media pack, and you speak a hatful of languages, you are in luck with their new translator. Mucho lingo, mucho news-o, perfecto.

If I speed read incorrectly, it sounds like a lead-footed female govt official has been accused of mishandling Barbie's toxic waist. A few activist mothers have their knickers in a twist. Scandalous!

This synopsis of Qelqoth's blog is a wordsmith's thingy of beauty. Schismatic Discharge of Verbal Abuse. News and Reviews from the ArseCrack of Great Britain. Drop the Great & that is perfection!

Sorry folks, I took the screenshot of MyBlogLog Sunday 34 a while ago, but got distracted by CSS tables from this guy. Just how much fun can you have on a weekend!

As per the "rules", the 10 bloggers in the screenshot are all very welcome and can expect a mini review highlighting a post they did this week. A spot also includes my finest PR4 backlink, plus a link to your MyBlogLog community... and to keep the ball rolling, I will stumble any posts from any bloggers (featured or not) who leave a link to their own favorite post of the week.

Link love plus content, just what blogging is supposed to be about, I think!

For good measure you usually get a comment too. Are you still fully comment aware? Diane was the top commenter here last week. Merci beaucoup to her for all the trivia on Belgium.

Enough of my waffling... have a good Sunday and the reviews will hit the blogosphere later this evening. (That leaves plenty of time for the winners to prepare a post linking back here!!!!)

MyBlogLog Sunday info links

And this video review from Breaking News will shed some light on what goes on, if you haven't called by before.