27 May 2007

Web search for the humor in technology, world news, celebrities and mad events | 03 June 2007 | 20 May 2007

More takers for funny quotes widget

The Web Pen is joined by Ploop, Callie Ann and Larry, more brave souls who have added the Funny Quotes widget to their sidebar. Some more are here.

So far this idgety fidgety widget has appeared about ~~11000~~ 40000 times on the internet in May, which means each of the 15 quotes has appeared about ~~1000~~ a lot of times. That is quite useful if one of your quotes is included in the widget, because each quote links back to your site.

Just send me a funny line (funny to people who don't have any context to go on, by the way) and a URL and I will add it in. Play fair and install the widget (it seems to work without damaging websites) and the effect grows.

If you want a widget of your own with your own quotes perhaps, or photos or whatever content you have in mind, contact Giuseppe and tell him Ed sent you. Mentioning my name won't make a blind bit of difference to him, you will still get a good job done.

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Parenting skills: Instant punishment or time out?

Filed in: Ed's blog spot

Ed the Editor's personal blog corner

Perfect parents don't exist. They say the only qualifications needed to be a parent is a set of functioning genitals. Less harsh critics of dubious parenting say that there is no book, no training that can prepare adults for raising children, so we have to accept that people do the best they can. OK, so that is alright, then!

When I was a kid I fell out of an apple tree and my dad clipped me round the ear. I claim it was unfair, others say he did it out of relief that I was still alive, and others even harder say I deserved to be hit to reinforce the fact I had broken the rules about climbing trees.

As an uncle, not a parent, I know my response to a child in a similar circumstance would be not to add insult to injury with a thump. However I would remind them that us humans were born without feathers and wings and most of us aren't called Tarzan. Whether that would lighten the drama or screw the kid up forever, I don't know, but at least it would be more humane than a clip round the head.

The other approach is time out, where, presumably, my father would have locked the door and told me to stand outside till I had thought about the errors of my ways. I recall that Emo guy recounting Christmas Day. "We would wake up full of anticipation, and on seeing the snow on the ground, we would rush to the front door and holla through the letterbox, "Mom, let us in."

Compared to the Spartans, even the harshest modern-day parent would be considered a pussy. Those heroic mothers left their babes out on the hillside, an extreme form of time out. "Look, son, you haven't done anything wrong, but take time out to consider the mistakes you might make later on in life."

And the Romans had a great way of making their grown-up soldiers consider the errors of their ways. After a loss, the centurion would line up the survivors, reinforce their shame with a tirade of frightening proportions before stabbing to death every tenth man. Hence the term decimate.

Thinking of some of the insolent kids I have encountered over the years, perhaps we could bring back the Roman ways as part of a new parent-child education program?

If you ever miss a day without Ed, all the blogspots are here.

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Offers too good to be true?

Filed in: Ed's blog spot

Ed the Editor's personal blog corner

They say that if you are made an offer that is too good to be true, then it probably is.To my mind, however, there is nothing too good or more true than a free no-strings-attached spot on the PR5 Pisstakers' looping ad box!! Imagine my horror then, as my genuine offer to selected websites keeps falling on stony ground.

I can't tell you how many webmasters I have approached, and waited like a lemon for no response. OK, so perhaps their spam filters on their contact forms don't like the word "Piss". Oooh. If so, they aren't the kind of people I need to be hanging out with, I suppose. But to be honest, I don't buy that spam filter deal. They are happy enough to have comments from yours truly.

Or maybe it is the title of the email that sounds spammy, or if they get past that and read the email, is it the idea of free, that they don't trust the motives? Whatever, I know it is a good deal for the right people, so I just have to believe, and move on, telling the story till the right people listen.

So I keep writing to potential gems! I recently got a reply, artwork and a link from a suitable site and everything is installed. I didn't expect daily pats on the back, but neither did I expect no correspondence whatsoever thereafter. No apparent effort to even mention to anyone else on the internet that they are benefitting from this meager opportunity. Call me naive, (you're naive) but that isn't fair play either. Strange. A bit closer to the reaction I expected from a "satisfied customer" was learning that their keyword phrase has hit page one or two of Google search results. That is nice.

I say I am naive with my tongue firmly stuck in my cheek. Not wishing to blow my own trumpet, but in a past life I negotiated serious deals under pretty high power circumstances. The secret is to have a deal that is fair to both parties, to have no agenda beyond what is explained at deal time and to be patient. And the bottom line, honesty really is the best policy.

So, I keep on approaching sites that seem right. Committed, bright writing verging on witty, interesting, techy. So I found one, but it got very surreal the other day. The deal was made as far as I was aware, but at the last minute some punk decides to re-negotiate the deal. I had been in the same position before with a fairly big shake sheikh, so although I was vexed to say the least by this tech head, I wasn't exactly stumped for what to do. I just resorted to type and explained again how it worked - with a concession thrown in that looks generous to any sharp negotiator - because it is - but wouldn't hurt me in the least. I assume from the lack of correspondence from the nameless person that they don't understand offers that are even better than too good to be true. So that is the end of that episode and I hope they learn to negotiate better! Next!!

Of course there are some like-minded easy going creative people out there who do play fair when presented with a neat opportunity. Thanks to video bloggers, Brohans for their link and occasional shout outs, and Techboggle for those tech related links, and coming up, the guys at Generator Land who also seemed to get it straight away and are on the case as we speak. Ominous Comma also celebrates a recent 103-comment post by joining the loop. And it is Bonsai whose keyphrase Rapidweaver Themes has landed them on page one/two for their specialist subject.

I have a plan with the ad box and it doesn't necessarily suit every blog I am in contact with and in awe of, so I hope if you aren't approached for this particular feature you don't hate me forever. The references and links will continue in other ways, mark my words.

And now for the next offer that is too good to be true, I am off to Nigeria to pick up my 8 million dollars.

If you ever miss a day without Ed, all the blogspots are here.

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Sunstroke can be funny

Filed in: Ed's blog spot

Ed the Editor's personal blog corner

Summer is coming, but beware of the sun. I once went on a holiday to Greece, mid-August. The deal was, on the first day of a 2 week package, you would meet the people on the second week of their 2 week deal, and they would show you around.

At the welcome party it was all very jovial as 50 tanned and party-drunk folks welcomed 50 pale and travel weary holidaymakers. After the introductory toast and explanation of what was on offer, there was a word of warning.

"I would like to introduce you to, John, who we now know as "Pus foot".

This sorry looking guy with cheeks as red as a beetroot, lips as brown and crusty as I don't know what, hobbled to the front. He then went on to explain how he had got drunk on the first day and fallen asleep on the beach. 5 hours later he had woken up face down and hung over. The burns on the soles of his feet were so bad, the ambulance had to be called to move him. By the end of week one, he was just getting comfortable enough, in a pained and tortured kind of way, to start walking around.

Needless to say, we all took note, laughed at him and got completely blind drunk. But we did learn from his errors and stayed in the shady confines of the hotel.

If you ever miss a day without Ed, all the blogspots are here.

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Stuck in traffic after paying a toll

Filed in: Ed's blog spot

Ed the Editor's personal blog corner

How annoying is it to pay a toll for the use of a road supposed to get you from A to B faster than the plebs on a normal road - only to end up joining a parking lot shifting at 5mph in your direction.

Do the people at the barriers not get the concept? The idea is to give value for money to drivers willing to pay for the privilege of uninterrupted driving. So once the toll road has a certain volume of traffic on it, shut the gates and let the ones who have paid, get their moneys worth. This quota idea would annoy motorists queueing to get through the barriers, but better they get angry waiting in line, money in pocket, than hand over their hard earned money just to join an automotive zoo.

And there are always plenty of traffic cops hanging around toll booths, so if any stationary drivers get road rage, they can deal with it easily enough. A driver 5 miles inside a traffic jam going nuts on his neighbors is a lot harder for the law to get to.

Some may say I don't get the concept of toll roads? Correct me if I am wrong, but I thought the toll for say a trip over a bridge represented a fair exchange. You pay money to a brain dead collector, and he lets you cross a bridge so you don't have to waste time and gas driving 300 miles up river for the first opportunity to cross on dry land. So why is a toll road any different? Is it because there is no water involved?

Or is a modern day toll road really answering a public need, sating the desires of those people dying to hand over dollars for the joy of being funneled through barriers, the consequences be damned?

I dunno, I despair. As if the roads aren't an expensive enough artery, bleeding our pockets dry. You pay a toll and then you have to add in the hidden costs of being late for work, inhalation of car exhaust fumes, stress wondering who is going to get outraged enough to vent on you for no reason.

Sort out toll roads, people, keep them moving fast and worth paying for. If not, we should all go via the side roads and park up outside the developments inhabited by toll collectors - just when they want to head off to work the booths. See how they feel.

If you ever miss a day without Ed, all the blogspots are here.

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MyBlogLog Sunday 11

Filed in: Ed's blog spot

Today it's all the ones, MyBlogLog Sunday - part 11 at the Pisstakers.

In an effort to kick the habit, I am sitting here with a cup of coffee lovingly prepared from half decaf - half standard coffee beans. Consequently I am only half awake, but it is doing me good, so the consequences be damned.

It looks like we have some new kids on the block. Congratulations on dragging yourselves out of bed to participate in today's MyBlogLog Sunday ordeal by mini review. I see some familiar faces too, who I thank for supporting the cause. I also curse you, in the nicest possible way, because I am going to have to dream up a new approach to your reviews today else it could get a bit samey. We'll see what surfaces from the half caffeinated brain cells later.

And tragedy has struck, no Steve Yu!!! Has he become so saddened by the Agloco experience he is actually spending time on his university studies so he can get a real job?

Thanks for taking part today, and to those of you who don't know what on earth is going on here, the MBL Sunday rules are explained here. (As a hint, be a MyBlogLog member who visits here just before I start blogging on Sundays!)

News
The news here is that there is no change. All mini reviews from today are instantly added to the archives, so you can get a permanent back link to your mini review today AND TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT MYBLOGLOG SUNDAY.

Blog Interrogation
5 bloggers have so far set the record straight during an intense 5 question and answer Blog Interrogation. Next week I have another 5 lined up. They all blog about varied subjects, they all have regrets and they all share insights of use to any blogger out there. And they are fun too. Send your answers in, and remember, this is not a meme false link love exercise. All interrogations stay on my review blog.

MyBlogLog Sunday prize winner

A pound of gummi bears and a review like these is on offer to which ever of last week's featured blogs refers the most traffic to The Pisstakers before midnight Saturday.

Claire has something to add to her collection of A little Piece of Me as she sent most new traffic this last week.

MyBlogLog Sunday info links

All hot mini reviews on MyBloglog Sunday!

Internet buzz on MyBloglog Sunday!

How to participate in MyBloglog Sunday!

Weekly round-up of MyBloglog Sunday!

Other contests this week

Ades has info on competitions and giveaways of a fistful of other people's dollars

Blog About Your Blog grows its RSS readership by the day. Soon time to announce their RSS feed mini fridge winner.

Link Rambler continues to search for... promotions, awards, contests, memes, giveaways, linkbait opportunities, and other ways to bring traffic to your site or blog. He reviews too!

Google goodies from Me and My Drum!

The Pisstakers At last, a winner of the "You won't win a Zune" contest Polliwog has an FM radio transmitter coming her way. Thank goodness for that!

We've linked to several web search engines offering random payments & prizes! Click the icon & search our keyphrase web satire. It is a win-win, perhaps!

Be back later.