Blog Action Day Climate change
Thank the polluted heavens and all that is holey for climate change. Thanks to CO2, particulates and ozone, the weather is going to open up brand new horizons for everyone with a sense of adventure and enterprise.
Now, instead of battling the predictable Atlantic elements and the moaning blue rinse brigade on a lame transatlantic cruise, I can take a derring-do summer cruise on a tall ship full of bare chested salty sailors right through the middle of the Arctic Circle. No need to worry about ice bergs, they have all melted. No need to trek miles over frozen wastes to catch sight of a polar bear. Just sit in the deck chair sipping a cool beer and watch the white furry moulting beasties float by on blocks of fast melt ice.
Thanks to climate change, we will be able to do what no Viking could ever do - go skinny dipping off the Greenland coast. The opportunities are endless.
Thanks to climate change, my gas bill will be a fraction of what it is now, the heating rarely on. And the rising electric costs to run the 24/7 air con will be whipped back into normality by the "free" power produced by the government-sponsored wind turbine the size of the Eiffel Tower, spinning noisily in my desertified back garden. I(ronic that allusion to France, seeing as it will be the incumbent French government sponsoring the windmill, not my own British one, since all the MPs will have hot footed it off to the milder climes of a Siberian gulag to run up their expenses in peace.)
With climate change comes opportunity for entrepreneurs. The "Save the Planet" emblazoned ear plugs won't be for protection against the horrendous whooshing of spinning blades, but rather will shield us from the disturbing screeches of errant birds being ripped to shreds overhead.
Sweat bands will be all the rage as we swelter under 90 degree winter suns, and neoprene will be all the rage with nomads right across the sub saharan flood plains. Tsunami burgers and typhoon tea will be the next big thing across the corporate globe. Thanks be to climate change, change is a wonderful thing.
Adventure that is climate change.
Now, instead of battling the predictable Atlantic elements and the moaning blue rinse brigade on a lame transatlantic cruise, I can take a derring-do summer cruise on a tall ship full of bare chested salty sailors right through the middle of the Arctic Circle. No need to worry about ice bergs, they have all melted. No need to trek miles over frozen wastes to catch sight of a polar bear. Just sit in the deck chair sipping a cool beer and watch the white furry moulting beasties float by on blocks of fast melt ice.
Thanks to climate change, we will be able to do what no Viking could ever do - go skinny dipping off the Greenland coast. The opportunities are endless.
Dropping monthly bills thanks to climate change
Thanks to climate change, my gas bill will be a fraction of what it is now, the heating rarely on. And the rising electric costs to run the 24/7 air con will be whipped back into normality by the "free" power produced by the government-sponsored wind turbine the size of the Eiffel Tower, spinning noisily in my desertified back garden. I(ronic that allusion to France, seeing as it will be the incumbent French government sponsoring the windmill, not my own British one, since all the MPs will have hot footed it off to the milder climes of a Siberian gulag to run up their expenses in peace.)
Enterprise and climate change
With climate change comes opportunity for entrepreneurs. The "Save the Planet" emblazoned ear plugs won't be for protection against the horrendous whooshing of spinning blades, but rather will shield us from the disturbing screeches of errant birds being ripped to shreds overhead.
Sweat bands will be all the rage as we swelter under 90 degree winter suns, and neoprene will be all the rage with nomads right across the sub saharan flood plains. Tsunami burgers and typhoon tea will be the next big thing across the corporate globe. Thanks be to climate change, change is a wonderful thing.
|
