Put death on the curriculum

Ed the Editor's personal blog corner

When I was at school, back in the day of Latin plus metalwork for boys, cooking for girls, we used to have assemblies. You know, where the whole school would meet up, bleary eyed first thing in the morning to fidget and elbow and hit each other while the head droned on about the latest timetable changes, canings, sports results... But once a month, a teacher had to give a talk to the mob.

One guy really had us listening hard. He starts, "Over the next 10 years, half of you will be married, half of those will end up divorced and regardless of whether you get married or not, 5 of you will be dead!"

It was quite a poignant statement to kick off with, and as I still remember the gist of it, he definitely made an impact. In hindsight, I know a few contemporaries who did get married and some of them have since divorced. Ten out of ten there, teacher! Sadly, he was way off with the death figures, or rather, the time scale.

Within 2 years of leaving school, one kid was stabbed and died outside his favorite soccer ground; another lad hung himself; one guy died in a car crash and his mate was crippled for life; one guy killed another lad in a car crash whilst being an idiot. And let's not even talk about near fatalities on bikes and in cars, with life-changing consequences for the worst, nor a couple of long-standing family friends wiped out in a car accident, old relatives dropping left and right.

The point is, that as a kid, death is just a word, but as an adult, you realise that life involves, even revolves around death, and there is no escaping it, no timing it, very often no explanation nor justification. Death, like shit, happens.

Death has affected me, and you, and I know it was a steep learning curve knowing how to cope, the first time my heart was ripped out by tragic news. I really wish that my school had included Death on the curriculum and taught me some coping skills for just such an inevitable occasion.

I am sorry for the students who got caught in the cross-fire at Virginia Tech. I am sure that no amount of school Death lessons would prepare anyone anywhere in the world to deal with the level of distress of a massacre, be it in peace- or war-time, but what I am thinking is: most mass fatalities and murders and genocides, and, as shown recently, unprovoked massacres, are unlikely to involve us directly, but some isolated and non media-worthy incidents will. And one day we will all be a death statistic too. Depending on how it happens, our own death will affect many people around us. I would like to think the young 'uns at least had a clue what to expect.

In conclusion, just like Latin got weeded out because it was deemed irrelevant, it would be cool to see classes on Death introduced for the opposite reason. Just look at the media circus portraying a world where death has never been more mainstream and in your face. It shouldn't be too hard to sell Death (I mean cessation of breath) lessons in the current climate.

For a lighter end to that rant, ever heard this one?

Latin is a language, dead as dead can be, first it killed the Romans (not Latins!) and now it's killing me.

If you ever miss a day without Pisstakers, you can find a daily snapshot of The Pisstakers Satire Blog Posts (ie the homepage) in the archives

Enjoy the content.