TV repair scams, crap Mapquest, and DHL / UPS heroics

Ed the Editor's personal blog corner

It has been a bad two days in Pisstakers' domestic land, thanks to a broken TV, of all things. We tried to put it right but made the mistake of relying on service companies!

Rather than generalise and write off the whole of corporate America, let's just say I know the name of a TV repair scammer to avoid; all drivers should be very wary of MapQuest, and by way of balance, I wish to say "Kudos" to DHL and UPS for going beyond the call of duty. Add in AT&T's failure to let us call in to check cell phone messages from a landline, and it is fair to say we ended the day more shafted than a loose Shanghai stripper.

This is a bit of an epic, so it may not be for everyone, but if you are interested in a comedy of expensive errors, click on the dot to read what happened.

Ed the Editor's personal blog corner

TV hell

Imagine you buy a new rear projection TV and pay an extra $250 for a comprehensive warranty. We get a phone call from a distraught renter, "Ooooh, the world is falling in, one of the 3 TVs in the house won't start, what are we to do?"

I didn't take the call, so they weren't told, "Shit happens, so get over it already and use the other two TVs till the third is repaired under warranty." Mrs Ed was far more polite and assured the freaking whiner we would sort it.

Tweeter warranty blows chunks

Mrs Ed calls the warranty people at Tweeter, full of anticipation for a speedy solution. You can see what's coming already, I expect. The best they could do was September 6th, 10 days hence. Thanks for nothing, Tweeter twats. But these aren't the real scammers.

TV repair scammer

The next option was to find a local repairman to at least analyse the problem and possibly do the repair, the extra expense be damned - within reason. We eventually find someone who will come out the next day for $70, so we pay in advance by credit card to make sure the repairman goes out. One step ahead, I suggested we also overnight a new lamp, the most likely component to break in these rear projection TVs. All being well, that was the problem and it could be repaired immediately. So, the long and the short, another $200 later we have the lamp on order, winging its way from the West coast in a UPS plane.

Next day we get a call from the repairman saying the renter won't answer the phone so he can't get in. We call the renter and tell him to please answer the phone. He goes ballistic saying he has been in all day by the phone waiting. We tell the repairman he must have the wrong number, but when he reads back the correct number, we realise the repairman isn't that good at lying, and has been bullshitting to buy time, making lame excuses for turning up late.

Anyway, the next thing, we get a call from the repairman. "It'll be $600 to repair the TV." When asked to explain himself, he says the way the lamp shattered there is something wrong with another piece of circuitry. $600 to put it right. When pressed to explain how he knows what is broken, he backtracks, saying it may be just the bulb. Right there I jump in and ask how much if just a new bulb solves the issue. His answer. "$600!" After batting back and forth, he stuck with $600, no negotiating, and we told him he was a scammer. Fair, I think.

Unfortunately the lies proliferated when I called the TV shop and told them their technician was trying to rip us off. I have a funny accent, so I passed him over to poor Mrs Ed who suffered a 10 minute explanation of what the repairman should have explained. His solution for a quick fix was a new TV! Jeez, thanks for nothing.

With a ranting renter and no solution via the local repair guy, we find a rental company. Sure they can help, if we can wait 3 days to deliver a replacement TV. I honestly believe it is a myth that America is the land of service. Maybe disservice would be more accurate.

The scam thickens

Anyway, we took our own TV to the house, 2 and a half fricking hours away. But before taking it inside, we talked to the renter. He swore up and down that the repair guy was there 5 minutes and had told them the lamp had shattered because there was too much dust on it. "Er, what? Wanker." And he had said nothing about a faulty circuit board. Double wanker. So we took a corporate decision and decided to install the new lamp that had been delivered from UPS.

Sadly there was no sign of a package! Mrs Ed was in a right state, the whole of corporate America was letting us down badly. After a trip to the internet cafe it turned out that UPS had called, but literally a few minutes before the renters' return from the beach, so it was a failed delivery and the lamp was still on the truck heading back to the depot. Oh well, what to do. Bottom line, UPS close at 6pm but they work all night, so we were told to go and knock on the door and ask for the package when the driver got in.

Mapquest losers, DHL deliverers

One hour later we arrive somewhere near the UPS depot, but thanks to Mapquest. we can't find it. The shittiest directions ever constructed by computer left us in no mans land, in the dark, in the rain. We had to ask the DHL guys in their warehouse how to get to UPS. They had more than a sense of humor, and one of their drivers actually drove to the depot with us following behind. How cool was that.

UPS go the extra mile

The UPS lady in despatch was surprised to see a teary eyed woman in her office. It was 2 hours after being closed to the public. She was sympathetic, but nearly finished Mrs Ed off when she revealed our package was with literally the only UPS driver still out on the road. She said she would contact the driver and let us know when he arrived. The rain fell, we were past caring, and sat in the car wondering how much worse the day could get. By 9pm the driver got back and imagine the scene: a UPS lady walking across this dingy rainy carpark, her electronic swipe board in one hand, the package in the other. She meets Mrs Ed and they do the exchange. It is the material of adverts, UPS go the extra mile. They are a brilliant company, no doubt, they say what they do and deliver, literally, so I would buy shares in them.

Is it the right replacement lamp?

I brought the broken lamp from the TV with me to UPS. When I open the package, sure we have the correct lamp, cheers to the west coast guy for that, but my heart sinks. I am going to have to dismantle the bulb housing and replace the lamp. Never done it before, no tools, it is 10pm, I am wondering where this story is going to end.

We nearly have a blow up on the freeway, I get my left and right confused trying to join traffic and it was a frosty drive back to the renters. Oops. By 11pm we have the lamp in, TV working and programmed, job done, happy renters too tired to watch TV. They were happy, and actually gave us a couple of drinks to take home with us. That was a nice touch, which will sound strange to Europeans, but here in America, it isn't normal for hosts to offer a cup of tea or coffee to people the second they walk in the house.

It was a relief to get home at 1.30, and all I can say to Tweeter, Mapquest, AT&T and TV scam repairman is, fuck you, and I hope your businesses go down the toilet.