Finding humor in life,
tech, news & celebrity

The hakka cracked me up

Ed the Editor's personal blog corner

I was just explaining a dance called the Hakka, and ended curled up in hysterics when someone said, "They (the dancers) sound like cheerleaders."

Just to explain, the Hakka is a Maori war dance performed originally by ferocious warriors prior to going into battle. It involves lots of foot-stamping, glaring and chest thumping by men in skirts with bones through their nose. The ritual ends in a big leap into the air and a threat to take their opponents' heads off.

I was doubly splitting my sides at the cheerleader analogy, because the modern day Hakka dancers are equally as intimidating as the old warriors. The New Zealand All-Blacks rugby Union team perform the Hakka before every match. The players without body armor or helmets are one of the most physically intimidating sports team anywhere. In the day, a 19 year old Samoan import called Jonah Lomu ripped through the England opposition like they weren't even there. He was 6 6", 280lbs and ran a 10 second 100m like an earth- and bone-shattering gazelle. The hakka worked on the opposition that day. It was a slaughter.

Some wimpy officials have tried to get the Hakka banned from sport, because, sure, it must be an unfair advantage to be able to yell in your opponent's face just before kick-off, promising to rip their heart out shortly! But fortunately, the tradition is still here, and I will smile for a long time thinking of All Blacks as giggly dancing girls.

If you ever miss a day without Pisstakers, you can find a daily snapshot of The Pisstakers Satire Blog Posts (ie the homepage) in the archives

Enjoy the content.