Funny Quote of the Day
Funny Quote of the Day is by far the most popular page on the Pisstakers site. How annoying that the easiest to come by material attracts the most attention.
I jest, I am not annoyed, just saying that compared to writing real material, it was a doddle to compile a list of funny quotes that I found around the internet, in real life and on TV.
My own favorite is
If you want thousands of people to continually call by and spend a few minutes perusing your blog, why not add a funny quote of the day page yourself, there is always room on the 'net for easy-to-read gems.
I jest, I am not annoyed, just saying that compared to writing real material, it was a doddle to compile a list of funny quotes that I found around the internet, in real life and on TV.
My own favorite is
If we were meant to be vegetarian, why did god make animals out of meat. Why not tofu? (Dan Nainan)
If you want thousands of people to continually call by and spend a few minutes perusing your blog, why not add a funny quote of the day page yourself, there is always room on the 'net for easy-to-read gems.
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. Sponsored by exxon?
At a time when oil has hit $122 a gallon, some one still has the nerve to pump out an article warning against dumping your gas guzzler for a lean mean hybrid machine!
According to this (exxon?) sponsored post, owners of 30mpg cars would spend about $1700 a year less on gas than owners of a 15 mpg truck. This sounds all well and dandy and what can possibly be wrong with buying a fuel efficient run around - until you get to the premise of the article - that you need to sell your brand new truck, eat the depreciation AND spend $22,000 to acquire this hybrid car.
Now, of course the wheels fall off being efficient, and on that basis, $1700 savings at the pump only partially offset the overall cost of changing cars. So, there is no incentive to being socially responsible, as you were.
Except that instead of beating your head against a wall of stupidity and throwing money endlessly into the gas tank of a spanky new truck, how about this. Keep your truck for posing at the weekend, and spend $3500 on a second hand Japanese car that you can drive in the week. That way you break even financially by end of year one; from your low down sedan seat, you get to see just how stupid and overkill most trucks are for driving around town; and you can be fuel efficient.
Sorry to be sensible and all, Messrs Exxon and co. but who can afford to think the same old ways that got us into this gas dependent mess? Not me.
No doubt we will revisit the argument when oil hits $200 a barrel. Till then, happy driving.
According to this (exxon?) sponsored post, owners of 30mpg cars would spend about $1700 a year less on gas than owners of a 15 mpg truck. This sounds all well and dandy and what can possibly be wrong with buying a fuel efficient run around - until you get to the premise of the article - that you need to sell your brand new truck, eat the depreciation AND spend $22,000 to acquire this hybrid car.
Now, of course the wheels fall off being efficient, and on that basis, $1700 savings at the pump only partially offset the overall cost of changing cars. So, there is no incentive to being socially responsible, as you were.
Except that instead of beating your head against a wall of stupidity and throwing money endlessly into the gas tank of a spanky new truck, how about this. Keep your truck for posing at the weekend, and spend $3500 on a second hand Japanese car that you can drive in the week. That way you break even financially by end of year one; from your low down sedan seat, you get to see just how stupid and overkill most trucks are for driving around town; and you can be fuel efficient.
Sorry to be sensible and all, Messrs Exxon and co. but who can afford to think the same old ways that got us into this gas dependent mess? Not me.
No doubt we will revisit the argument when oil hits $200 a barrel. Till then, happy driving.
Resistance to change
I have noticed a lot of resistance to change, which surprises me, considering we are all so well educated, open minded and exposed to new ideas these days.
I remember loads of resistance to the iPod, with critics saying it would never take off because ALL it did was play MP3's. I suppose we expect the latest new thing to be ultra complex and have loads of bells and whistles and flashing lights. Perish the thought that we give up the fiddly and unreliable electronic device we already can't make work for something simple that does work!
Talking electronic gizmos, a friend of mine was a big shot with Mercedes Benz and he said they met with constant resistance from suppliers whenever they asked them to produce new state-of-the-art components. It seems crazy to me that any high tech manufacturer would shy away from advancement, but there you go! Vorsprung durch Zwang? Progress by force.
I know a little bit about paint, and the construction industry, a domain that embraces the whole idea of resistance to change.
When I was working as a painter in the UK, I used to do a lot of research into new materials. I was a great fan of the Dutch, who are the masters at house painting, and so I gravitated towards paint from Dutch conglomerate Akzo. It was easy to get a perfect finish using their basic oil undercoats and gloss paints and fillers, and I raved about it to colleagues, but to almost no avail. There was a lot of lunatic reasoning against change - saying that it was best to stay with what was known; that the price of the known brands was right; that customers would think they were being gipped when contractors turned up with paint from a company they had never heard of. Whatever.
I was a lone voice banging my head against a wall, but thanks to millions invested in marketing, Akzo did change the minds of painters, convincing them to change paint and get an advantage so they could make money more easily. It makes you wonder why they bothered helping such curmudgeonly old bastards.
In fact I was talking to a tech guy from Akzo and he said they had many products in mainland Europe that would not be available in the UK for years, because, not surprisingly, the island mentality market wasn't ready for them. You get the product you deserve.
It is hard to criticise people for not wanting to change, especially as I have just retrograded 50 years by getting a wood, not fiberglass boat, but it does annoy me when people stick with the same old same old, despite new options. Do you often come across Luddite mind set and scratch your head? Or do you think there is too much change going on for our own good anyway, so change is not a good thing?
Change a habit of a lifetime and resist the urge to not comment...
Resist the iPod
I remember loads of resistance to the iPod, with critics saying it would never take off because ALL it did was play MP3's. I suppose we expect the latest new thing to be ultra complex and have loads of bells and whistles and flashing lights. Perish the thought that we give up the fiddly and unreliable electronic device we already can't make work for something simple that does work!
Resistance in Germany
Talking electronic gizmos, a friend of mine was a big shot with Mercedes Benz and he said they met with constant resistance from suppliers whenever they asked them to produce new state-of-the-art components. It seems crazy to me that any high tech manufacturer would shy away from advancement, but there you go! Vorsprung durch Zwang? Progress by force.
Resistance from painters
I know a little bit about paint, and the construction industry, a domain that embraces the whole idea of resistance to change.
When I was working as a painter in the UK, I used to do a lot of research into new materials. I was a great fan of the Dutch, who are the masters at house painting, and so I gravitated towards paint from Dutch conglomerate Akzo. It was easy to get a perfect finish using their basic oil undercoats and gloss paints and fillers, and I raved about it to colleagues, but to almost no avail. There was a lot of lunatic reasoning against change - saying that it was best to stay with what was known; that the price of the known brands was right; that customers would think they were being gipped when contractors turned up with paint from a company they had never heard of. Whatever.
I was a lone voice banging my head against a wall, but thanks to millions invested in marketing, Akzo did change the minds of painters, convincing them to change paint and get an advantage so they could make money more easily. It makes you wonder why they bothered helping such curmudgeonly old bastards.
In fact I was talking to a tech guy from Akzo and he said they had many products in mainland Europe that would not be available in the UK for years, because, not surprisingly, the island mentality market wasn't ready for them. You get the product you deserve.
Conclusion
It is hard to criticise people for not wanting to change, especially as I have just retrograded 50 years by getting a wood, not fiberglass boat, but it does annoy me when people stick with the same old same old, despite new options. Do you often come across Luddite mind set and scratch your head? Or do you think there is too much change going on for our own good anyway, so change is not a good thing?
Change a habit of a lifetime and resist the urge to not comment...
Family life
A wise man was telling me a couple of gems to help us get through family life.
Never let the sun set on an argument. Great idea, but if I lived by that maxim, I would get to sleep once every two weeks.
When your first daughter is born, go and talk to a tree for 15 minutes. Repeat this tree-talking ritual every night for 13 years, by which time you will be ready. (This sort of reminds me of a school teacher I once had, who said that kids are great, as long as they are born at 18.)
And then he finished with a story about a friend who had lost 2 wives. The first wife died from an overdose, and the second from a fractured skull. That bitch wouldn't swallow the pills.
Got any more?
Never let the sun set on an argument. Great idea, but if I lived by that maxim, I would get to sleep once every two weeks.
When your first daughter is born, go and talk to a tree for 15 minutes. Repeat this tree-talking ritual every night for 13 years, by which time you will be ready. (This sort of reminds me of a school teacher I once had, who said that kids are great, as long as they are born at 18.)
And then he finished with a story about a friend who had lost 2 wives. The first wife died from an overdose, and the second from a fractured skull. That bitch wouldn't swallow the pills.
Got any more?
About page update
After so little action on the blog, I thought I better save some face and go through tidying up my site. For grins I updated my About Page.
It was quite enlightening to see what I was thinking about a year ago. (What was I thinking!)
I was all fired up to write like a satirical loony in order to attract 10000 visitors a month to The Pisstakers. I wanted to host a stable of funny guest writers and develop an all-round mega blog too. Oh well.
The reality is, I am currently the lone contributor, so I haven't exactly created a one-stop funny shop. On the other hand, working alone, I surpassed my aims for traffic - attracting 16000 visitors a month and a useless PR5 rank. 1 out of three ain't bad.
(The one big lesson I learned btw, fellow bloggers, is that little quantity and poor quality researched posts are the way to go!) The Valentines Day Sucks post is a case in point.)
Then there were the 8 things about Ed. to deal with. On reflection I was pretty happy with the the old list, and seeing as I haven't done much wild stuff in the past 12 months, I just tarted the octo-bio up a bit.
(As I look around the half wrecked boat I am sitting in at the moment, I can't help thinking that if this thing ever floats again, the list of achievements could be worth updating at some stage. Time will tell.)
That was my homework last night. What does your About Me page say? Anything, something, nothing?
It was quite enlightening to see what I was thinking about a year ago. (What was I thinking!)
Aim of the blog
I was all fired up to write like a satirical loony in order to attract 10000 visitors a month to The Pisstakers. I wanted to host a stable of funny guest writers and develop an all-round mega blog too. Oh well.
The reality is, I am currently the lone contributor, so I haven't exactly created a one-stop funny shop. On the other hand, working alone, I surpassed my aims for traffic - attracting 16000 visitors a month and a useless PR5 rank. 1 out of three ain't bad.
(The one big lesson I learned btw, fellow bloggers, is that little quantity and poor quality researched posts are the way to go!) The Valentines Day Sucks post is a case in point.)
Bio
Then there were the 8 things about Ed. to deal with. On reflection I was pretty happy with the the old list, and seeing as I haven't done much wild stuff in the past 12 months, I just tarted the octo-bio up a bit.
(As I look around the half wrecked boat I am sitting in at the moment, I can't help thinking that if this thing ever floats again, the list of achievements could be worth updating at some stage. Time will tell.)
That was my homework last night. What does your About Me page say? Anything, something, nothing?
Boycot exxon and mobil - spam to promote used cars!
I received an email from a friend, telling me to stop buying gas from Exxon and Mobil. I trashed it, not because it is a bad idea, and not because I am a gas junky lacking in community spirit, but mainly because this type of email is spam.
The email contains a fairly credible suggestion to save the world from $4 gas, ie boycott Exxon and Mobil for a year rather than stop buying gas for one day. What's the problem with that idea? Nothing much, but if you scroll to the end of the email, you will see a link to a 3rd party site. This site will benefit from the same numbers of eyeballs alluded to in the anti-gas email (if 10 friends of 10 friends get the email, and before you know it, 300 million will get the message.)
Ironically, in this case, you get taken to a Used car site.
I picked up on this trend when I received a circular begging for help to find Madeleine McCann, the little English girl missing in Portugal last year. Some one managed to get their link included on the end of the email message that went international, and you can bet your bottom dollar that they got a lot of click-throughs on the back of honest folks spreading the word about her sad predicament, bastards.
So, to raise awareness of this sort of subtle spam, what I suggest is that you forward this Pisstakers article to 10 friends, tell them to forward it to 10 friends, and before you know it, 300 million people will know never to forward anything to anyone, ever. That should make people think twice about using the internet to communicate!
The email contains a fairly credible suggestion to save the world from $4 gas, ie boycott Exxon and Mobil for a year rather than stop buying gas for one day. What's the problem with that idea? Nothing much, but if you scroll to the end of the email, you will see a link to a 3rd party site. This site will benefit from the same numbers of eyeballs alluded to in the anti-gas email (if 10 friends of 10 friends get the email, and before you know it, 300 million will get the message.)
Ironically, in this case, you get taken to a Used car site.
I picked up on this trend when I received a circular begging for help to find Madeleine McCann, the little English girl missing in Portugal last year. Some one managed to get their link included on the end of the email message that went international, and you can bet your bottom dollar that they got a lot of click-throughs on the back of honest folks spreading the word about her sad predicament, bastards.
So, to raise awareness of this sort of subtle spam, what I suggest is that you forward this Pisstakers article to 10 friends, tell them to forward it to 10 friends, and before you know it, 300 million people will know never to forward anything to anyone, ever. That should make people think twice about using the internet to communicate!
Rapidweaver Spanky new blog software
I am almost fit to burst with techno excitement, and so should you. I just learnt that the blog software, Rapidweaver for Mac has been updated and is due to enter a whole new era of online slickness in the near future. Break out the winegums, we are having a party.
I have missed a few Rapidweaver updates recently, so I just downloaded the latest - the seventh reiteration of the 6th update of the third version. When put like that, in full, no one should say that a simple numbering system for software is arcane. Anyway, it is a tweaked version of a tried and tested package, so not exactly a mind blowing wow experience, but it is exporting files quicker. Noice.
As all Windows users know, Macs are all about form over function, so it came as no surprise to learn from the Rapidweaver review by Ars Technica, that the new layout for version 4 looks pretty cool. If nothing else, even if the quality of my content remains slightly gray and banal, at least I will feel better inside when I blog.
The biggest buzz for me though, is the even speedier new exporting option that is promised. I don't know how it is going to work, but it has to be slick if it is even slicker than what is going on right now.
To be brutally honest when compared with Wordpress, the publishing side of things is a dog. I put up with a lot of wasted time and hanging around when I use this Rapidweaver dealio, waiting for it to go through the whole site looking for new stuff that, to my simplistic mind, is sitting there right at the top of the pile begging to be noticed first.
For the record, I did sort of make a promise to myself way back when I first installed it. Rapidweaver was a new product, a long way from being perfect, but it had potential, so I agreed to stick by the authors as they worked their butts off getting the software right. To be fair, they have doggedly improved every aspect, especially the search engine optimisation side of things, and generally kept the workflow simple, drag and drop easy, but powerful. Kudos to the Brits
With version 4 in the works, hopefully it will be a high performance daddy, but still have the coolest and slickest interface out there for bloggers and web designers. We shall see.
I will now press publish and go make 7 cups of tea and bake a few cakes too, while the current version of Rapidweaver does its thing.
Update: it exported my homepage about 4 times quicker than yesterday, but the Verizon connection crapped out when it was publishing, so this is coming to you 12 hours later than planned!
Version 3.6.7
I have missed a few Rapidweaver updates recently, so I just downloaded the latest - the seventh reiteration of the 6th update of the third version. When put like that, in full, no one should say that a simple numbering system for software is arcane. Anyway, it is a tweaked version of a tried and tested package, so not exactly a mind blowing wow experience, but it is exporting files quicker. Noice.
Version 4
As all Windows users know, Macs are all about form over function, so it came as no surprise to learn from the Rapidweaver review by Ars Technica, that the new layout for version 4 looks pretty cool. If nothing else, even if the quality of my content remains slightly gray and banal, at least I will feel better inside when I blog.
The biggest buzz for me though, is the even speedier new exporting option that is promised. I don't know how it is going to work, but it has to be slick if it is even slicker than what is going on right now.
To be brutally honest when compared with Wordpress, the publishing side of things is a dog. I put up with a lot of wasted time and hanging around when I use this Rapidweaver dealio, waiting for it to go through the whole site looking for new stuff that, to my simplistic mind, is sitting there right at the top of the pile begging to be noticed first.
For the record, I did sort of make a promise to myself way back when I first installed it. Rapidweaver was a new product, a long way from being perfect, but it had potential, so I agreed to stick by the authors as they worked their butts off getting the software right. To be fair, they have doggedly improved every aspect, especially the search engine optimisation side of things, and generally kept the workflow simple, drag and drop easy, but powerful. Kudos to the Brits
With version 4 in the works, hopefully it will be a high performance daddy, but still have the coolest and slickest interface out there for bloggers and web designers. We shall see.
I will now press publish and go make 7 cups of tea and bake a few cakes too, while the current version of Rapidweaver does its thing.
Update: it exported my homepage about 4 times quicker than yesterday, but the Verizon connection crapped out when it was publishing, so this is coming to you 12 hours later than planned!
Administration Professionals Day April 23
Thinking about the admin professionals I have encountered recently, aka shit head Government employees at City Hall who have snubbed, sneered and prevented me from talking to the right person, all cards should start "Hey, remember it is our money that keeps your lardy ass in a job, not the other way round, so be nice."
Admin professionals who don't ever change their ways should do the right thing and sacrifice their own special 24 hour celebration, making way for Victims of Customer Abuse Day. That way, tens of millions of us could get a card to compensate us for mis-treatment voice by the losers regularly misdirecting phone calls and pushing paper from A to B and back again
Personally, when I saw April 23, Administration Professionals Day , I thought, "Wtf, what about my special day?".
Do you have a special day? I vote for Sons and Daughters Day, to compensate us for being born into this horrible world uninvited.
Boxing is in trouble. Bring on the girls.
Many peace-loving souls may be pleased to hear that boxing as a spectator sport is in trouble. The days of crowd-pulling Ali v Foreman contests are over, attendances are dropping, TV revenue is falling, and blockbuster household star names are becoming increasingly thin on the ground. In fact the main claim to fame for boxing today is its influence on underwear - shorts.
Thank goodness that such a barbaric sport with more federations than fighters is going downhill fast. Now there is an opportunity to sit back and watch some really noble and civilised entertainment - like girls fighting on Youtube and extreme fighters beating the holy crap out of each other, no holds barred.
I watched the hideous bout between two members of the fairer sex who were videoed beating the snot out of each other at school, egged on by class mates. Not particularly tasteful and artistic, no ringside doctors in attendance, but at least the two girls put on a great show, and it is hard to beat that sort of free entertainment.
And then there is extreme fighting where every bout is brutal and bloody, but at least the baying crowds are left breathless and pumped up. Yes, those guys fighting in cages offer real bang for your buck.
Contrast those two examples of high octane scrapping with a slo-mo lo energy boxing match that I saw earlier this week. I don't hang around sports bars normally, but Mrs Ed was away and I was being a bachelor, chomping on turkey legs while watching the big fight. Jeez, to think someone paid to broadcast two oversize barrels with broken noses lumbering around the ring swinging and stumbling, trying to look pugilistic. Not impressed, and I felt like asking for a proportion of my meal money back to compensate me for the waste of eyesight.
So, after experiencing that level of ringside boredom,I would have to say that boxing is great yawn TV, and if fight promoters are going to stay in business, they need to think of alternative forms of combat.
Pondering the possibilities, I wonder if extreme schoolgirl fighting will ever be the rage? Any volunteers? Coming from a playground near you...
Or perhaps they should channel the violence in shopping malls and promote freestyle mall brawls. Offer prizes of a 10 minute supermarket shopping spree. With the way food prices are heading, that is no mean prize, and winners would probably end up with a higher net worth than Mike Tyson has now. Any ideas?
Thank goodness that such a barbaric sport with more federations than fighters is going downhill fast. Now there is an opportunity to sit back and watch some really noble and civilised entertainment - like girls fighting on Youtube and extreme fighters beating the holy crap out of each other, no holds barred.
Girls video fight
I watched the hideous bout between two members of the fairer sex who were videoed beating the snot out of each other at school, egged on by class mates. Not particularly tasteful and artistic, no ringside doctors in attendance, but at least the two girls put on a great show, and it is hard to beat that sort of free entertainment.
Extreme fighting
And then there is extreme fighting where every bout is brutal and bloody, but at least the baying crowds are left breathless and pumped up. Yes, those guys fighting in cages offer real bang for your buck.
Extremely boring fighting
Contrast those two examples of high octane scrapping with a slo-mo lo energy boxing match that I saw earlier this week. I don't hang around sports bars normally, but Mrs Ed was away and I was being a bachelor, chomping on turkey legs while watching the big fight. Jeez, to think someone paid to broadcast two oversize barrels with broken noses lumbering around the ring swinging and stumbling, trying to look pugilistic. Not impressed, and I felt like asking for a proportion of my meal money back to compensate me for the waste of eyesight.
So, after experiencing that level of ringside boredom,I would have to say that boxing is great yawn TV, and if fight promoters are going to stay in business, they need to think of alternative forms of combat.
A couple of fighting options
Pondering the possibilities, I wonder if extreme schoolgirl fighting will ever be the rage? Any volunteers? Coming from a playground near you...
Or perhaps they should channel the violence in shopping malls and promote freestyle mall brawls. Offer prizes of a 10 minute supermarket shopping spree. With the way food prices are heading, that is no mean prize, and winners would probably end up with a higher net worth than Mike Tyson has now. Any ideas?
SSB radio and a good case of emphysema
Gold plated Email
You may have absolutely no clue or interest in SSB radios, and to be honest, it was all very radio hammy and full of geeky kilohertz radio wave references that flew straight over my head, (which is what they are designed to do, I suppose). However, my ears pricked up when she got into SSB radio's email capabilities, a subject a bit more down to earth and at my level.
SSB radios offer you the truly madly most expensive email service ever conceived. If you are at sea, it could set you back $1200 for a modem! plus $300 a year for a service, allowing you access for 10 minutes a day!
Sheet. If we ever go sailing, I will have the perfect excuse never to stay in contact with family and friends. Having said that, blogging will become a precious pastime. The Pisstakers could tout itself as one of the most expensive-to-run free blogs on the internet. I guess I better start filling up the blank spaces with adverts.
Want to buy a radio?
Quad breve, Life is good for Ed
Quad breve, pah.
When you can hardly think, let alone stand, the best legal medication is an espresso. Being from out of state, I thought I would mix it up a bit and asked for an octo breve with extra cream and a pound of sugar. I got a funny look until the server worked out the price, and she was all smiles. I hoped the caffeine overload would help me come around, perhaps just before falling into a jerky sugar coma... As expected, it hit the button and I got the spring back in my step. Enough spring to fall into bed.
Trouble is, the espresso effect is fast - and the benefits of caffeine didn't last till the morning.
Toyota comfort, pah
I woke up feeling like a 300lb stripper had tip toed over my lower back. Thank you Toyota! In terms of reliability and economy, Camrys rock, but thanks to the bastard nippons' barebones approach to car seat comfort, my sciatic nerve had broken down. It took 2 trips to the chiro practictioner, lots of moans and groans, and a bottle of placebo pain killers to rearrange my spine, from the bones in my ass to my elbow.
Life is good
Anyway, enough of the complaining. Long story short, we found what we were looking for on the West coast, and traded a spot in a nice rural house in Seattle for a half dismantled sail boat in a boat yard in Californ-ia. Life is good!
It is hard not to have a good time sharing a single bed with Mrs Ed, huddling up against the freezing wind gusting off the bay. And my back is fine, thanks for asking.
And if the Verizon modem thing can sort itself out, I may even be able to blog a bit more now. We shall see.
Hasta luego, as we say around here. And thanks to the commenters and visitors who kept this blog barely alive. (Barely is a relative term, there are still over 1000 visits a week, go figure!
The disturbing truth about blogging
The disturbing truth about blogging is, the less you write, the more visitors you get to your blog. And if you write nothing, visitors will keep on coming back for more nothing. That is a weird lesson to learn 1300 posts into the life of a blog!
Over the past year, I have been writing like a twat every day, and traffic has been building steadily to 10000 visitors a month. However, this month to date, for various boring reasons, I have totally failed in my efforts to entertain my readers with any new material whatsoever. During that neglectful time, I was amazed to learn that traffic has shot up from 10,000 a month to nearly 14,000 people in 3 weeks, an all time record.
That means The Pisstakers are generating 40% more traffic by writing nothing new. How disturbing is that!
Before you start a blog, leave it full of white space, and sit back to reap the rewards, I should point out that at the time of my last entry, there were already about 1300 posts, in total, sitting here, winking at new visitors. So, zero posts won't exactly captivate an audience, but zero new additions to a body of work may not do any harm!!!!
In fact, the grim truth is that thousands of new visitors didn't give a monkeys that there was nothing new to see. They found this blog via a year-old post on why Valentines Day sucks. I guess it was reassuring to learn that so many people wanted to find out what I thought about the day of love 12 months ago? The really stupid thing is, all I did was post a link to another site where someone else had done all the head scratching research on what is so sucky about Feb 14th.
The "accidental experiment" where absence made the traffic grow larger, illustrates that there is little advantage to writing thousands of articles if they don't hit the button. Just write what people want to read. Hey, Money Making Mike has been banging on about that for ever, wise man, and got 148,000 to his celebrity insider site in January following his own advice!
As an epilogue to this rare post, apologies to all the folks who have come looking for new posts, and contributed to this site and become blogging buddies, and found Ed gone! Once we have relocated, however, and dealt with some major personal crap, and got internet back on track, I will be back in action and let's see where we end up.
Maybe this blog will evolve into the PisstakersValentineSucks.com with more than one new post per month and more adsense per square inch than is good for your health, but oh well, if nothing else, at least I have learnt and shared a disturbing truth about blogging.
cheers.
Zero new input adds 40% more traffic!
Over the past year, I have been writing like a twat every day, and traffic has been building steadily to 10000 visitors a month. However, this month to date, for various boring reasons, I have totally failed in my efforts to entertain my readers with any new material whatsoever. During that neglectful time, I was amazed to learn that traffic has shot up from 10,000 a month to nearly 14,000 people in 3 weeks, an all time record.
That means The Pisstakers are generating 40% more traffic by writing nothing new. How disturbing is that!
An empty blog won't do it, but...
Before you start a blog, leave it full of white space, and sit back to reap the rewards, I should point out that at the time of my last entry, there were already about 1300 posts, in total, sitting here, winking at new visitors. So, zero posts won't exactly captivate an audience, but zero new additions to a body of work may not do any harm!!!!
In fact, the grim truth is that thousands of new visitors didn't give a monkeys that there was nothing new to see. They found this blog via a year-old post on why Valentines Day sucks. I guess it was reassuring to learn that so many people wanted to find out what I thought about the day of love 12 months ago? The really stupid thing is, all I did was post a link to another site where someone else had done all the head scratching research on what is so sucky about Feb 14th.
Write what people want to read
The "accidental experiment" where absence made the traffic grow larger, illustrates that there is little advantage to writing thousands of articles if they don't hit the button. Just write what people want to read. Hey, Money Making Mike has been banging on about that for ever, wise man, and got 148,000 to his celebrity insider site in January following his own advice!
Let down
As an epilogue to this rare post, apologies to all the folks who have come looking for new posts, and contributed to this site and become blogging buddies, and found Ed gone! Once we have relocated, however, and dealt with some major personal crap, and got internet back on track, I will be back in action and let's see where we end up.
Maybe this blog will evolve into the PisstakersValentineSucks.com with more than one new post per month and more adsense per square inch than is good for your health, but oh well, if nothing else, at least I have learnt and shared a disturbing truth about blogging.
cheers.
Ursula Martinez nudges MBL Sunday to the sideline
The creative dept here has joined the ranks of all other writers in the US, and our weekly MBL Sunday feature ain't happening.
Obviously this mishap isn't a wages related issue, more a health dept upset. (If I were a V8 engine, then at this moment in time I would be chugging along on 4 cylinders with a pint of water in the gas for good measure.) Fortunately the stand-in act to keep the humor show rolling along, is nude magician, Ursula Martinez - obviously.
The Anglo-Spanish lady, famous here for her naked magic / re-appearing handkerchief act does a few other tricks too. Check out the full array of strip tease and pyrotechnics on her site. If you ever need a cabaret act to set your audience's hearts a-racing, you know where to look now.
Meanwhile, I will continue popping the Airborne and putting my littler body back together again after a really charming week punctuated by mucus, muscles spasms and sweat buckets. Cheers.
Obviously this mishap isn't a wages related issue, more a health dept upset. (If I were a V8 engine, then at this moment in time I would be chugging along on 4 cylinders with a pint of water in the gas for good measure.) Fortunately the stand-in act to keep the humor show rolling along, is nude magician, Ursula Martinez - obviously.
Ursula Martinez to the rescue
The Anglo-Spanish lady, famous here for her naked magic / re-appearing handkerchief act does a few other tricks too. Check out the full array of strip tease and pyrotechnics on her site. If you ever need a cabaret act to set your audience's hearts a-racing, you know where to look now.
Meanwhile, I will continue popping the Airborne and putting my littler body back together again after a really charming week punctuated by mucus, muscles spasms and sweat buckets. Cheers.
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| "Your name" is a Kiva lender | "Your site's screenshot" SmartLink Widget | Funny HQ humor store |
Incredible - Darkest before dawn
It may sound incredible, but I tend to look on the bright side of life. However, for the last couple of days of illness, I have been wondering where the light was coming from.
They say it gets darkest just before dawn. Pessimists say that it gets darkest just before it goes completely black. Well, after an unnervingly hot fever attack last night, I can now announce that I woke up this morning in the light.
For a couple of hours it was like that scene in The Incredibles where the over-weight super hero was squeezing and squeezing and squeezing, and finally, he popped into his escape tube. I popped in the night.
I am not up to saving the world today, but maybe tomorrow.
They say it gets darkest just before dawn. Pessimists say that it gets darkest just before it goes completely black. Well, after an unnervingly hot fever attack last night, I can now announce that I woke up this morning in the light.
For a couple of hours it was like that scene in The Incredibles where the over-weight super hero was squeezing and squeezing and squeezing, and finally, he popped into his escape tube. I popped in the night.
I am not up to saving the world today, but maybe tomorrow.
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Sorry folks, Ed is sick
Sorry, I seem to have fallen foul of a flu bug. As all male readers will appreciate, my wife wonders what all the fuss is about, but I am nearly dying here. The worst of it is, I cant string two amusing thoughts together.
What's new?
Hopefully tomorrow is another day.
What's new?
Hopefully tomorrow is another day.
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Economics 101 - armageddon
I said "No recession here" a couple of weeks ago. Well, can I change my mind a little bit? How about Armageddon.
After watching Helicopter Ben Bernanke juggling the inane questions from Congress about how to jump start the economy, I have to conclude that the economy is somewhat screwed, and corporate America is totally lacking in moral, forthright and timely economic leadership.
For those that are interested, there are two ways to "control" the economy. Monetary policy and fiscal policy. Bernanke is in charge of monetary policy, (interest rates are his only concern) and the government is in charge of fiscal policy (taxes, to you and me). If Bernanke was good at his job, and had jumped into action about 6 months ago, housing would be alive still, and there would be no need to even consider fiscal policy changes.
Instead, the country has been on hold, waiting to see how low the interest rates will get before buying homes. There are now trillions of dollars tied up in property which should be out in the open, being spent on Korean TVs and lead painted toys from China... Oops.
If anyone cares, there are three simple steps any pisstaker leader could implement today to sort the mess out swiftly.
The first way to stimulate the economy is to make Ben do his job. He should be implementing substantive interest rate measures, not explaining in words of one syllable how congress should use taxes to sort out his mess! For instance, he said,
Ladies and gentlemen, give low and medium income families a tax rebate and they will spend it all, almost instantly, and kick start the economy.
Wise words, but, he talks in ways that congress don't understand. Firstly, Congress men and women don't know what a poor person looks like, and second, they are clueless in the ways of the world of the poor. One confused soul asked, How do we make sure that tax rebates get to the 28,000 males in my state who have never worked a day in their lives and aren't registered tax payers? Give me strength. Just send the cash rebates straight to the crack houses!
Second step is to forget creating more debt for new tax rebates. Just fire 80% of congress and give their current tax dollar wages to the poor to spend wisely.
I am sure the congress folk are decent people, (dons flame retardant suit) but they don't need public funded money to pay their bills. Their lobbyist friends send them plenty enough as it is. And don't feel guilty about firing a congressman in charge of economic policy who has to ask questions like, How does the multiplier effect work? What do you call low and medium income families? Why do tax cuts cost the general public money?
Final step is to go on holiday to a small Pacific island and come back in 2009. This will indirectly stimulate the economy here in the US. Mega companies like HP and IBM are on fire in emerging banana republic markets charging 50% less for the same goods they sell here in America. You, as an expat can stock up on tip top printers, and the tech corporations can send the excess profits back to the US. Win win.
Bottom line: There is a long way to go till the economy reaches the bottom line.
After watching Helicopter Ben Bernanke juggling the inane questions from Congress about how to jump start the economy, I have to conclude that the economy is somewhat screwed, and corporate America is totally lacking in moral, forthright and timely economic leadership.
Economics 101
For those that are interested, there are two ways to "control" the economy. Monetary policy and fiscal policy. Bernanke is in charge of monetary policy, (interest rates are his only concern) and the government is in charge of fiscal policy (taxes, to you and me). If Bernanke was good at his job, and had jumped into action about 6 months ago, housing would be alive still, and there would be no need to even consider fiscal policy changes.
Instead, the country has been on hold, waiting to see how low the interest rates will get before buying homes. There are now trillions of dollars tied up in property which should be out in the open, being spent on Korean TVs and lead painted toys from China... Oops.
Action 101
If anyone cares, there are three simple steps any pisstaker leader could implement today to sort the mess out swiftly.
The first way to stimulate the economy is to make Ben do his job. He should be implementing substantive interest rate measures, not explaining in words of one syllable how congress should use taxes to sort out his mess! For instance, he said,
Ladies and gentlemen, give low and medium income families a tax rebate and they will spend it all, almost instantly, and kick start the economy.
Wise words, but, he talks in ways that congress don't understand. Firstly, Congress men and women don't know what a poor person looks like, and second, they are clueless in the ways of the world of the poor. One confused soul asked, How do we make sure that tax rebates get to the 28,000 males in my state who have never worked a day in their lives and aren't registered tax payers? Give me strength. Just send the cash rebates straight to the crack houses!
Second step is to forget creating more debt for new tax rebates. Just fire 80% of congress and give their current tax dollar wages to the poor to spend wisely.
I am sure the congress folk are decent people, (dons flame retardant suit) but they don't need public funded money to pay their bills. Their lobbyist friends send them plenty enough as it is. And don't feel guilty about firing a congressman in charge of economic policy who has to ask questions like, How does the multiplier effect work? What do you call low and medium income families? Why do tax cuts cost the general public money?
Final step is to go on holiday to a small Pacific island and come back in 2009. This will indirectly stimulate the economy here in the US. Mega companies like HP and IBM are on fire in emerging banana republic markets charging 50% less for the same goods they sell here in America. You, as an expat can stock up on tip top printers, and the tech corporations can send the excess profits back to the US. Win win.
Bottom line: There is a long way to go till the economy reaches the bottom line.
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| "Your name" is a Kiva lender | "Your site's screenshot" SmartLink Widget | Funny HQ humor store |
Afghan weddings cost $20000
According to a NJ radio talk show host yesterday, the average wedding costs $20,000 in Afghanistan, a country where the average wage is $7000. Despite the flawed numbers (averages are meaningless, doing the average is what keeps the average down etc), and despite the fact that the presenter of the show likely could not pinpoint Afghanistan on a map, it provided an interesting insight into - US mindsets!
Starting from the top, with the wedding industry lobby, I think Western aggressions in Afghanistan have been provoked by jealous wedding party planners who have the government's ear. Let's face it, when was the last time you went to a $20k wedding in America with animals, balloons and several hundred guests partying like loonies for days? Planners can't put on that kind of show here, because no matter how much money or credit card debt you have, some people just can't be bought. Even with the lure of a healthy back-hander payment and a high-paying position on a once-a-month committee, animal rights officials simply won't permit endangered species to mingle with wedding guests,.
I think the housing lobby is also tied up in the anti-Afghan wedding putsch. We are led to believe that this is the land of milk and honey and home ownership is nirvana. If we all knew how great it really was in Afghanistan, we'd all be jumping ship and buying up mortgage-free caves ready to move into after our stunning weddings.
And the fashion lobby want their say too. If the traditional Afghan wedding head dress ever became fashionable, Vera Wang would be out of business in the click of a rifle.
Some guy from Jersey was all proud that in 2001 he spent $10k on his modest wedding. It sounded like he had 10 guests, a couple of Big Macs per head, and everyone got drunk on wine gums. At the other extreme, a woman explained how she had a friend whose wedding cost $100k. That sounded like it had the potential to match an average Afghan wedding for pomp and circumstance, (albeit 5 times the price) but alas, still no animals were mentioned in the Jersey exytravaganza.
I couldn't get to the phone so I couldn't put in my own experience. Our wedding in a picturesque mountain village lasted 3 days. We fed all our family and friends to bursting with Spanish and Moroccan food and it cost me $4000. The secret was that we have small families and a few friends. To further weed out the guests who didn't really really love us, we staged the wedding thousands of miles from America and hundreds of miles from other family and friends in Europe. Playing fair, we asked for no gifts, just their presence. It was a great 3 days and it was all paid for, but not forgotten.
The radio conversation probed the idea of cost of wedding v longevity of marriage. The $10k skinflint announced that he is still married, whereas his buddies who spent $25k are all divorced now. Way to go, cheapskate! On that basis, it looks like I will be with Mrs Ed until at least 2020!
But the kicker was the $100k extravagants. They got divorced 7 MONTHS after the ceremony where they pledged to be together for richer or poorer till death us do part. Well, if I were the parents who paid for the wedding, they would certainly be dead, or at least forced to sign up and go study Afghan treatment of brides who don't want to be married any more.
Got any wedding horror stories, foreign perspectives?
Lobbys provoke Afghanistan invasion to kill off weddings
Starting from the top, with the wedding industry lobby, I think Western aggressions in Afghanistan have been provoked by jealous wedding party planners who have the government's ear. Let's face it, when was the last time you went to a $20k wedding in America with animals, balloons and several hundred guests partying like loonies for days? Planners can't put on that kind of show here, because no matter how much money or credit card debt you have, some people just can't be bought. Even with the lure of a healthy back-hander payment and a high-paying position on a once-a-month committee, animal rights officials simply won't permit endangered species to mingle with wedding guests,.
I think the housing lobby is also tied up in the anti-Afghan wedding putsch. We are led to believe that this is the land of milk and honey and home ownership is nirvana. If we all knew how great it really was in Afghanistan, we'd all be jumping ship and buying up mortgage-free caves ready to move into after our stunning weddings.
How cheap is a cheap wedding in America?
Some guy from Jersey was all proud that in 2001 he spent $10k on his modest wedding. It sounded like he had 10 guests, a couple of Big Macs per head, and everyone got drunk on wine gums. At the other extreme, a woman explained how she had a friend whose wedding cost $100k. That sounded like it had the potential to match an average Afghan wedding for pomp and circumstance, (albeit 5 times the price) but alas, still no animals were mentioned in the Jersey exytravaganza.
Cheap Spanish wedding
I couldn't get to the phone so I couldn't put in my own experience. Our wedding in a picturesque mountain village lasted 3 days. We fed all our family and friends to bursting with Spanish and Moroccan food and it cost me $4000. The secret was that we have small families and a few friends. To further weed out the guests who didn't really really love us, we staged the wedding thousands of miles from America and hundreds of miles from other family and friends in Europe. Playing fair, we asked for no gifts, just their presence. It was a great 3 days and it was all paid for, but not forgotten.
Value for money wedding
The radio conversation probed the idea of cost of wedding v longevity of marriage. The $10k skinflint announced that he is still married, whereas his buddies who spent $25k are all divorced now. Way to go, cheapskate! On that basis, it looks like I will be with Mrs Ed until at least 2020!
But the kicker was the $100k extravagants. They got divorced 7 MONTHS after the ceremony where they pledged to be together for richer or poorer till death us do part. Well, if I were the parents who paid for the wedding, they would certainly be dead, or at least forced to sign up and go study Afghan treatment of brides who don't want to be married any more.
Got any wedding horror stories, foreign perspectives?
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Wesley Snipes $16m tax evasion do-do
Remind me not to look to him for financial advice. Nobody has ever got away without paying, and many go to jail.
Snipes' time has come to face the music. Good luck in court with your story, pal! As they said on TV today, Hollywood actors have a hard time persuading people they are sincere, even when they are genuinely talking from the heart. Imagine addressing 12 peers and convincing them you didn't think you needed to pay taxes, honestly, truly, madly... And that's the easy bit, because you also have to explain the writing of three dud checks for tax you didn't think you needed to pay!
I guess the director of this next piece aka The Judge, will get an autograph and a moment of glory when he sentences Wes to jail. The only bright side to this tax evasion episode for the Hollywood actor, is that he shouldn't get too much hassle behind bars. Did you see what he did to the bad guys in his movies?
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New Bobcat GPS not good enough for New Jersey
Bobcat is the code name for some wow factor Apple product supplied by Garmin, the in-car GPS specialists. Techies at MacWorld are a-tremble with anticipation. However, on this same positive day for lost drivers everywhere, there is furor about New Jersey traffic policies The governor wants to introduce an 800% increase in tolls to raise $38bn in revenue - for what, one can only imagine [government salaries and bonuses].
I predict that any time now, thanks to Bobcat, you will be able to plug your iPod Nano into your GPS unit. At the click of a button, the software will be able to create music by equating precisely located foot-tapping and head-shaking movements with musical notes. Then you feed that data into Garage Band, add a few car horns and squealing brake noises, and combine it all with traffic jam announcer soundtracks taken from your satellite radio.
The software then auto creates a unique personalised song that you can listen to as your GPS helps you skirt road works and hold-ups with consummate ease. And it is all done wirelessly.
The Gouge Cat is a special Bobcat version for the New Jersey road user. After taxes, it costs way more than anywhere else, and by the end of 2010, despite mega billion dollar revenues, they still won't be able to make it work properly.
I am no transport major, but I heard years ago that an extra traffic lane is like an extra trash can. The more trash cans you have the more trash you accumulate. Apparently, the NJ governor never heard of this fact!
Time for me to find maps to get me to the peaceful Pacific North West.
Update: To be a good blogger boy and bring some authority to the crap I write, here is a link to the real Bobcat from Garmin!
The Garmin Apple Jersey story
The software then auto creates a unique personalised song that you can listen to as your GPS helps you skirt road works and hold-ups with consummate ease. And it is all done wirelessly.
The Gouge Cat
The Gouge Cat is a special Bobcat version for the New Jersey road user. After taxes, it costs way more than anywhere else, and by the end of 2010, despite mega billion dollar revenues, they still won't be able to make it work properly.
I am no transport major, but I heard years ago that an extra traffic lane is like an extra trash can. The more trash cans you have the more trash you accumulate. Apparently, the NJ governor never heard of this fact!
Time for me to find maps to get me to the peaceful Pacific North West.
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| "Your name" is a Kiva lender | "Your site's screenshot" SmartLink Widget | Funny HQ humor store |
Funny art in Seattle and elsewhere
I am not much of an artist, and I don't read much, but I know what I like about art. I like funny art, which could mean funny ha-ha as well as funny peculiar.
Looking at the pictures in this funny art article from the Seattle Times, I thought that "Touch" a pair of long arms hung over a clothes hook was a pretty cool piece. At the risk of sounding like a pretentious art critic, (is there any other sort?), it was quite funny too. Somebody had mucked around with it, by turning the hands to face out. Maybe they thought it should have been called Do Not Touch?
There wasn't much else at the Francine Seders funny show that struck me as funny, but that's not to say you wouldn't burst a blood vessel laughing at some of the other works of art. Art works in mysterious ways.
And I did a bit of digging around other artists on the web site, and if anyone can tell me what is going on with the work of an artist guy called Robert C. Jones, feel free to share. Like I said, I like my funny stuff, but I am also willing to open up to art that appeals to other emotions. Trouble is, I can't quite find the words to describe what I feel when I look at his canvasses.
Fortunately, (in my ignorant opinion) there was nothing else at the gallery as out-and-out fricking stupid as those Damien Hirst spots and pickled sheep deals I mentioned a while back, but you may beg to disagree.
There is a really cool UK art critic called Brian Sewell. I wouldn't want to be on the end of his acerbic tongue lashings. For an idea of what you are up against if he is scrutinizing your favorite art, check out the sound board. And please, don't consume any drinks or food when you click on Sewell sound bites, because you will spit it out. Imagine the butler in Arthur, but real!
There wasn't much else at the Francine Seders funny show that struck me as funny, but that's not to say you wouldn't burst a blood vessel laughing at some of the other works of art. Art works in mysterious ways.
And I did a bit of digging around other artists on the web site, and if anyone can tell me what is going on with the work of an artist guy called Robert C. Jones, feel free to share. Like I said, I like my funny stuff, but I am also willing to open up to art that appeals to other emotions. Trouble is, I can't quite find the words to describe what I feel when I look at his canvasses.
Fortunately, (in my ignorant opinion) there was nothing else at the gallery as out-and-out fricking stupid as those Damien Hirst spots and pickled sheep deals I mentioned a while back, but you may beg to disagree.
Don't Call me stupid
There is a really cool UK art critic called Brian Sewell. I wouldn't want to be on the end of his acerbic tongue lashings. For an idea of what you are up against if he is scrutinizing your favorite art, check out the sound board. And please, don't consume any drinks or food when you click on Sewell sound bites, because you will spit it out. Imagine the butler in Arthur, but real!
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| "Your name" is a Kiva lender | "Your site's screenshot" SmartLink Widget | Funny HQ humor store |
Couple Find Nearly $12K in 'Cold Cash'
After reading the wild story where a couple, poor as church mice, move into their new apartment and find thousands of dollars in a fridge (long after a thorough police raid), my headline would be: Cops lose nearly $12k in hot cash.
It makes you wonder what quality of police force would raid a drug dealer's home, search the whole apartment, find a few hundred bucks cash on the suspect, arrest them and leave - with nearly $12000 of unmarked bills still stashed in the refrigerator!
It did paint a good picture of honest folks, though. It sounds like the couple who found the money can barely afford the electric to power the fridge, yet they handed it in. Or was it nothing to with honesty, but fear that they would be the next players in a sequel to that uber scary Coen Brothers movie "No Country for old men"! I guess they weighed up the pros and cons and worked out that if the bad guy called by, looking for his money, they couldn't afford to replace the shot out door locks to their front door, let alone the health care to recuperate from that air-powered cattle prod to the forehead.
Back on track, let's hope the police give them their money before the bills literally rot to nothing.
It makes you wonder what quality of police force would raid a drug dealer's home, search the whole apartment, find a few hundred bucks cash on the suspect, arrest them and leave - with nearly $12000 of unmarked bills still stashed in the refrigerator!
Back on track, let's hope the police give them their money before the bills literally rot to nothing.
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I Talk Too Much says Ed doesn't talk enough!
Before you read on, I did ask for this review, and I did read their sanctimonious About Page first, so the gloves are off!
Well, well. I have written 1300 + posts in 15 months and a reviewer from I Talk Too Much makes a big deal about posting frequency! That will teach me for not posting an "On holiday" sticker center front before I went away, just in case a specialist review site called by 5 months after receiving my details!
But the review got worse. I used to think that I had a fairly cool theme, but along comes the smooth-talking I Talk Too Much hit-girl and blows even that idea out the water.
They go on to say I
If you are curious enough to look at the comments, you will read the words of someone who daren't admit she liked me too much, (in case she upset queen reviewer?) She also tried to over think stuff and make out I am a not very good journalist. Well, er yeah, I am not a journalist. I don't research anything, I just shoot from the hip.
In terms of credentials, the only differences between me and the reviewer is I have not lived my whole life in the basement of a trailer, I don't wake up every morning with the mission to indiscriminately trash everything that moves, and I would tend to write fall off the bed not fall of the bed !
On the positive side, madam reviewer gave me a mild laugh and gave me something to post about. Thanks.
If you want to read any more colorful ranty reviews that flow like newly bottled diarrhoea, check out the site, but as the Spanish would say, They don't have a good left hand. ie Their main prerogative may be to trash stuff and mouth off like truckers, but they have no grace. Poor use of bad language, too.
They use a fist-based ranking scheme, I got zero! To keep review rankings consistent, you get one fist for your site, ma'am. Choose any football team you like to give you the award as many times as you like.
Well, well. I have written 1300 + posts in 15 months and a reviewer from I Talk Too Much makes a big deal about posting frequency! That will teach me for not posting an "On holiday" sticker center front before I went away, just in case a specialist review site called by 5 months after receiving my details!
But the review got worse. I used to think that I had a fairly cool theme, but along comes the smooth-talking I Talk Too Much hit-girl and blows even that idea out the water.
That is a very original analysis, but who are the Denver Broncos? Is that the last team of football players this reviewer slept with?The template looks like the Denver Broncos threw up all over the page.
They go on to say I
That should be interesting, to see a girlie squatting at the top of a Christmas tree. Or does she pee like a guy? Probably that, because she doesn't have an ounce of the lady in her.inspired them to go piss all over the neighbors’ Christmas lights.
Comments
If you are curious enough to look at the comments, you will read the words of someone who daren't admit she liked me too much, (in case she upset queen reviewer?) She also tried to over think stuff and make out I am a not very good journalist. Well, er yeah, I am not a journalist. I don't research anything, I just shoot from the hip.
In terms of credentials, the only differences between me and the reviewer is I have not lived my whole life in the basement of a trailer, I don't wake up every morning with the mission to indiscriminately trash everything that moves, and I would tend to write fall off the bed not fall of the bed !
On the positive side, madam reviewer gave me a mild laugh and gave me something to post about. Thanks.
Bad left hand and a good fist
If you want to read any more colorful ranty reviews that flow like newly bottled diarrhoea, check out the site, but as the Spanish would say, They don't have a good left hand. ie Their main prerogative may be to trash stuff and mouth off like truckers, but they have no grace. Poor use of bad language, too.
They use a fist-based ranking scheme, I got zero! To keep review rankings consistent, you get one fist for your site, ma'am. Choose any football team you like to give you the award as many times as you like.
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| "Your name" is a Kiva lender | "Your site's screenshot" SmartLink Widget | Funny HQ humor store |
No Recession Here
Hello again. Ouch!
I just returned from a week-long trip to beautiful recession-free Washington state and Vancouver Island. We didn't miss the madness that is life on the East coast of America, but all good things come to an end and I have returned - to even greater madness!!
If I was weak of heart, I would say that the wheels have fallen off America, irreversibly. The stock market has tanked 10%, the media is openly talking UP recession, housing is going further down the toilet, elections are crazy, the winter weather has turned to shirt sleeves... and The Pisstakers was hijacked temporarily by Anonymous. The end is nigh!!
Not here!
While others lose their head discussing the minutiae of temporarily declining extreme wealth, I say, keep cool, keep thinking, and find the funny side in the gloom. Also keep denying that recession is all bad.
There are two lights shining brightly against a back drop of doom and gloom Now you can watch some Comedy Channel programing, without risk of repeats, and there is a brilliant money-making blog to captivate and educate you like no other in its genre.
In times of (perceived) recession, you need to cut costs. My fave black leg comedian, Stephen Colbert, is back in action with a leaner, meaner writing team of one, and to be honest, I can't tell the difference between his bare-bones show and those illustrious productions backed by teams of writers. It begs the question, does he need any staff on his payroll?
Maybe down-sizing is incredibly stressful for him, and he is going gray dreaming up all his own material, a lonesome comedian up against the wall and against the clock. If so, he could do himself a big favor by shaving his head bald. With no hair he can avoid the daily hair dyeing session, which will give him an extra hour's writing time. And with no hair, he has no worries about going gray from the pressure of being funny on his own .
Opportunities arise from economic slow-downs (and I speak hypothetically because it ain't happening). However, if you want to be taken seriously as a blogger with a handle on making money on-line, what I suggest you don't do is start advising novices on how to make money - unless you really have made serious cash yourself. And even if you do have all the answers, you better be quick at making your mark, because I think Blogger Unleashed is going to become the numero uno of this genre in double quick time.
Bottom line, Vic is a new superstar blogger totally kicking the money-making bloggers' butt. I say new but only in terms of the life of his latest blog. He has been around for years, in the form of a bad boy blackhatter, ("engineers" who cheat Google for fun) and the great thing is, he knows ALL the tricks of the trade so you can make money the right way.
For me, the best thing about his blog is, he totally blows the conventional pro-blogger wisdom out the water with a magnificent mix of effing and blinding and grammar issues. And he is painfully honest and horribly blunt at times. But it is a brilliant read.
I would hazard a guess that Vic would spit in the face of recession doom and gloom. There is so much money to be made on the internet, if you know how.
There we go. Recession blown apart. Now we are all feeling better, it is time to wish all the best to friends and foes. 2008 is another 12 months for us to flourish, and even if the richest country in the world does go under without a whimper, you are all most welcome to share in Pisstakers fun and frolics, puns and bollocks.
And don't be like Anonymous and get too concerned with contrarian and tongue-in-cheek opinions. I have an opinion and an ass-hole just like everyone else, with a slight difference, this is a satirical platform. I am so serious I can't even buy boat insurance without joking about drinking and driving. Cheers
I just returned from a week-long trip to beautiful recession-free Washington state and Vancouver Island. We didn't miss the madness that is life on the East coast of America, but all good things come to an end and I have returned - to even greater madness!!
If I was weak of heart, I would say that the wheels have fallen off America, irreversibly. The stock market has tanked 10%, the media is openly talking UP recession, housing is going further down the toilet, elections are crazy, the winter weather has turned to shirt sleeves... and The Pisstakers was hijacked temporarily by Anonymous. The end is nigh!!
Not here!
Recession is a positive
While others lose their head discussing the minutiae of temporarily declining extreme wealth, I say, keep cool, keep thinking, and find the funny side in the gloom. Also keep denying that recession is all bad.
There are two lights shining brightly against a back drop of doom and gloom Now you can watch some Comedy Channel programing, without risk of repeats, and there is a brilliant money-making blog to captivate and educate you like no other in its genre.
Colbert recession-proofing
Maybe down-sizing is incredibly stressful for him, and he is going gray dreaming up all his own material, a lonesome comedian up against the wall and against the clock. If so, he could do himself a big favor by shaving his head bald. With no hair he can avoid the daily hair dyeing session, which will give him an extra hour's writing time. And with no hair, he has no worries about going gray from the pressure of being funny on his own .
Blogging unleashed
Bottom line, Vic is a new superstar blogger totally kicking the money-making bloggers' butt. I say new but only in terms of the life of his latest blog. He has been around for years, in the form of a bad boy blackhatter, ("engineers" who cheat Google for fun) and the great thing is, he knows ALL the tricks of the trade so you can make money the right way.
For me, the best thing about his blog is, he totally blows the conventional pro-blogger wisdom out the water with a magnificent mix of effing and blinding and grammar issues. And he is painfully honest and horribly blunt at times. But it is a brilliant read.
I would hazard a guess that Vic would spit in the face of recession doom and gloom. There is so much money to be made on the internet, if you know how.
Happy New year
There we go. Recession blown apart. Now we are all feeling better, it is time to wish all the best to friends and foes. 2008 is another 12 months for us to flourish, and even if the richest country in the world does go under without a whimper, you are all most welcome to share in Pisstakers fun and frolics, puns and bollocks.
And don't be like Anonymous and get too concerned with contrarian and tongue-in-cheek opinions. I have an opinion and an ass-hole just like everyone else, with a slight difference, this is a satirical platform. I am so serious I can't even buy boat insurance without joking about drinking and driving. Cheers
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Snow angel
Just when you thought it was safe to go out.
Can you think of any captions to suit this Virginia Snow Angel pic?
The first thing that sprang to mind was, "Somewhere for Santa to park his bike." or "Snow angel clearing driveway while whistling Jingle Balls"
I hope you have something funnier!
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CB (Cool Brit) v CNBC hot head
The caffeine-pumped anchorman for the CNBC financial news channel was interviewing a British fund manager who looked like a retired colonel with a heart rate of 40bpm. He congratulated him on the 42% profit he had made on his emerging market fund and asked the Brit some general stuff, like,
"Can you do it again next year?"
He said he could, but not so spectacularly as before, but he would still kick ass. (My words not his!)
When asked about his tactics, the Brit mentioned that he had a team scouring the world investigating companies. He had interests in India, Russia, Brazil...
Remember yesterday? The world absorbed the news of the death of Bhutto. The anchorman was straight in with his shit- stirring stick.
"In view of the events unfolding in Pakistan over the last 48 hours, is that going to change your strategy for the coming year?"
The Brit looked at him like he had just been asked to stick a red hot poker up his jacksy and sing Rule Britannia.
"I don't think so. For a start I have no investments in Pakistan, and if you check your facts you will see that the Indian stock market just closed at a record high. That tells you what the neighbors think about the troubles in Pakistan."
Slap that idiot down. Sensationalist, uninformed - and that describes one of the better US news stations!
Whatever happened to balanced reporting? There is just so little perspective behind the news here. For instance, following the assassination of Bhutto, her supporters were distraught and angry. I am not saying that there will not be major issues to come, but within minutes the news stations were reporting insurrection - illustrated by something akin to a tire burning outside a hospital. The fire filled the frame.
It reminded me of the shots of the recent White House annexe ablaze. The camera was trained on smoke billowing from an open window. It looked really bad, until the cameraman put some perspective on the whole event. As he panned out, you could see that the conflagration (that the reporter confirmed was not a terrorist attack) was little more than a glorified fire in a wastepaper basket. From potential terror attack to a cigarette in a basket and back to normality again.
This is a really sick and draining cycle of info overload that is acted out hour after hour, day in day out. And the problem is, it is counter-productive. ie if you are trying to plan for the future you need some sense of stability and order. So why are there so few restrictions on the news people who seem to revel in trying to destabilise the economy, society etc with this incessant over reporting of every day life?
The whole country is caught up in this surging tide of BS news. It is like a big suction pad, dr
"Can you do it again next year?"
He said he could, but not so spectacularly as before, but he would still kick ass. (My words not his!)
When asked about his tactics, the Brit mentioned that he had a team scouring the world investigating companies. He had interests in India, Russia, Brazil...
Remember yesterday? The world absorbed the news of the death of Bhutto. The anchorman was straight in with his shit- stirring stick.
"In view of the events unfolding in Pakistan over the last 48 hours, is that going to change your strategy for the coming year?"
The Brit looked at him like he had just been asked to stick a red hot poker up his jacksy and sing Rule Britannia.
"I don't think so. For a start I have no investments in Pakistan, and if you check your facts you will see that the Indian stock market just closed at a record high. That tells you what the neighbors think about the troubles in Pakistan."
Slap that idiot down. Sensationalist, uninformed - and that describes one of the better US news stations!
Where's the perspective?
Whatever happened to balanced reporting? There is just so little perspective behind the news here. For instance, following the assassination of Bhutto, her supporters were distraught and angry. I am not saying that there will not be major issues to come, but within minutes the news stations were reporting insurrection - illustrated by something akin to a tire burning outside a hospital. The fire filled the frame.
It reminded me of the shots of the recent White House annexe ablaze. The camera was trained on smoke billowing from an open window. It looked really bad, until the cameraman put some perspective on the whole event. As he panned out, you could see that the conflagration (that the reporter confirmed was not a terrorist attack) was little more than a glorified fire in a wastepaper basket. From potential terror attack to a cigarette in a basket and back to normality again.
Endless destructive cycle
This is a really sick and draining cycle of info overload that is acted out hour after hour, day in day out. And the problem is, it is counter-productive. ie if you are trying to plan for the future you need some sense of stability and order. So why are there so few restrictions on the news people who seem to revel in trying to destabilise the economy, society etc with this incessant over reporting of every day life?
The whole country is caught up in this surging tide of BS news. It is like a big suction pad, dr