Smoking zones in restaurants are like peeing areas in swimming pools. Having read that quote, I understand why I find the concept of in-pool Caribbean cocktail bars so unsavory. Yellow birds, terd floaters... ugh!!


Ever been to Dick's Half-way Inn, or Marv's Butcher Shop, where you can't beat Marv's meat? If you like to show off your sense of humor on your chest, check out Vintage Edge funny T-shirts and vintage style t-shirts.


Sex with my wife is like ordering a chess set via mail order subscription - one piece every 6 weeks. If I wore that on a tee-shirt, I'd receive my divorce papers with my first pawn.


See how to Generate traffic from a funny quotes widget, ogle some more Porn quotes and Funny quotes on T-shirts and roll your big disbelieving eyes at classic Marilyn Monroe quotes.


Jinxed.org keeps on racking up loads of original fun quotes. If you ever need to tell the world something ironic, funny, or annoying that just happened to you, Jinxed is the site to leave a quote on.

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If Everyday life funny quotes are your thing, Jinxed.org is worth a visit. In fact, get ready for a long stay, there's lots to see. Also, a word of warning - wire up your jaw so it doesn't break under the strain of uncontrollable laughing, and wrap your body stocking tight, to stop your ribs from cracking.

The site is a drop-in for a lot of jokers who regularly share their fun quotes, like this one.

Today, after a long series of medical tests, the doctor tells me I am sterile. My wife is pregnant with our second kid. I'm gonna have to ask her a few questions. Jinxed!

Every quote invites a comment. Ed says... That's pretty funny. Sorry, of course it isn't funny, in the sense that the innocent husband found out the hard way that he has a slapper for a wife, but, you know... (In the UK, this sort of embarrassing discovery happened so often that the National Health Service actually stopped doing paternity tests!)

On a more serious note, every quote also invites a vote - You really are jinxed! (good) or You had it coming (bad) The above quote attracted a couple of thousand votes. Impressive interaction going on there, folks!

Moving on, here's another fun one

Today I am the baby-sitter of 3 rowdy little girls. After a one hour relentless struggle, I finally manage to put them to bed. I asked them what kind of story they'd like to hear, and the older one said "Can you tell us one where you die at the end ?" Jinxed!

Funny and bad, I liked it. Mrs Ed also giggled, and spluttered, "That's bad!" so - it must be.

Check 'em out. Hit the Jinxed home page, and browse around - and why not submit a funny one-liner yourself. No subscription required.

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If you have your own site, could you spread the Everyday life funny quotes love? Load up your side bar with their funny quotes widget.

The free Jinxed widget is a wonder of technology and design (similar in form and function to our own funny quotes widget!) but it serves up a shed load of different stuff for your readers to enjoy. Jinxed!

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One of the most visited parts of the Pisstakers is the Funny Quotes page, and for what it's worth, if you Google "Funny Quotes of the Day" you will see yours truly flying high in the results. I have found and created quite a lot of funny one-liners, but funny enough to be number 1 or 2 in 158,000,000 results? Hmm, if you ask me, this is living proof that Google ratings don't reflect the true quality of humor sites on the internet.

Real funny quote site

If you don't believe me, go to the Grinning Planet, where you will see what I believe to be one of the funniest and slickest humor web sites on the whole internet. Totally organised, categorised and humorised, brilliantly written, optimised and now, eulogised. And they have some funny quotes too.

If you have a humour site to rival the Grinning Planet, let me know, before I put into practice the sage, if not dull quote, of a certain Mr Anthony Robbins.

If you want to be successful, find someone who has achieved the results you want and copy what they do, and you'll achieve the same results.

And if you know the address of a good copyright lawyer, I would appreciate that too.

Over in Nottingham, England, a bunch of naked rugby players rescued their club from certain financial ruin by posing for a calendar. It may have helped balance the books, but maybe it ruined their reputation as clean-living manly men. Oh, my sources tell me that they never had that reputation.

Dry comedian, Stephen Wright, had a short funny quote resurrected recently. It comes accompanied by a scary video showing the after effects of an idiot parking in the passing lane of a major freeway. Dont worry, I'm not into motor mayhem for the sake of it - there is a connection between the quote and the video!

Remember Dame Barbara Cartland aka Babs? You know the name but know nothing about her, or her work? Join the club. Except now you can read one of her most perceptive short quotes - and also see someone who took no notice of her sage words.

Breaking News

I hate Christmas, and being an on-line / email kind of guy, I rarely send real cards, much to the disgust of family and friends. But this year, I became a New man when I discovered MoonPig. They do all sorts of real (Hallmark type) greetings cards, which isn't anything particularly novel, but they have a killer option. You can alter the words and phrases to suit the person you are sending to, and...

Yes sir, you can imagine the fun I had with that, using the slick online MoonPig software to change names, and add personalised greetings and the like. And it gets better.

Once you OK the end result, the MoonPig team print and post the cards straight to the recipient - the same day or next day ,depending on when you submit the order.

It isn't giveaway cheap, at £2.99 a card plus a stamp, but the novelty value and the fact it is a bona fide nice card sent from the comfort of your sofa, I think it is worth it. Hell, if they can get me to send cards, it must be a pretty good idea!!! In fact, I was persuaded to pre-pay £20 (about $30 now!) and got an extra £5 worth of cards, so...

2 more people will be getting a card this year. Watch this space...

OK OK, the latest site renovation has taken place at no expense. Funny Quote of the Day has grown wings, so get ready to enjoy a new section of funny quotes.

There are new categories starting with Funny Short Quotes, and Funny Birthday Quotes and dare I say, I think they will be better than the usual barebones quotes you get around the internet. A bit of meat added, so to speak.

Check them out, if you like the idea of getting a new funny quote landing in your reader on a regular basis, why not sign up to our fancy x-fruits RSS feed. Many thanks folks.

Enjoy, and of course, any comments are most welcome.