So what is it, folks? What is the busiest Christmas shopping day of the year? Here on the 19th of December we still haven't started, so our answer is no day. We are so far behind the curve, it is embarrassing. But I can trace the cause of this surreal scrooge-like behavior back to real world stats.

Therefore, while other blogs now tackle this week's busy shipping times for Fed-Ex and UPS, plus shopping mad Green Monday at eBay and Amazon, I am re-winding. I am blogging about a shopping day in November - with no embarrassment whatsoever.

Brick and mortar mall bull

If you listen to the retailers lurking desperately in malls, Black Friday is the big shopping kahuna.

For what it's worth, the analysts say that if you go shopping at a store on Black Friday, you are 70% likely to return to buy some more products before Xmas. If you stay in bed and sleep through the crass commercialism, you are 40% likely not to shop at all.

The analysts are right. We didn't shop and as you can see, the retailers are suffering nationwide.

Shop and save the CEO.

Do we care that we missed out on Black Friday? If you are a warm human being who wishes a good Christmas to all, even to the sort of people who exploit us all year, I suggest that it does matter!

We did not make the effort to walk through shop doors on Black Friday, and as a result, our favorite people, fat cat CEO's, have since spent the run-up to Christmas staring at spreadsheets in a nervy, prescription drug-induced stupor. We apologise. It is not something we would usually wish on our worse enemy, but oh well!!

Sorry retailers, we didn't get our act together and Black Friday has deteriorated into Black December. So much influence, Staggering.

A better attitude towards Xmas shopping

Yes indeedy, the day after Thanksgiving should have been a good time for us. We could have broken records for overnight queues and extended limitless and pointless goodwill towards fellow freezing human beings - and tripped them up as they headed for the same bargains on our wish list.

Re-thinking Black Friday

Maybe there is time to rectify the shortcomings, and buy some second hand stuff on eBay this Friday, ie on Black Friday 2. Does that count towards the bottom line?

And could we spin Black Friday a different way? It is a healthy day when many people actually run for the first and last time of the year, thundering down aisles, hearts racing, cholesterol evaporating. Post images of Black Friday shopping athletes elbowing competitors, looking for that one bargain basement Wii or mink coat. Bless!

Where are you in the Xmas shopping cycle? Is there hope to get the retailer CEOs off of drugs before year end figures implode? Let us know.