The US Armed Forces are stretched to breaking point. Not only are they fighting two wars, and losing soldiers left and right, but they are under pressure to expand their numbers to meet Government directives for more more more military. It appears they have been trying their best with ad campaigns, but even girls in uniform aren't attracting enough home grown squaddies.

One tactic has been to fast-track Green Card applicants willing to sign up. 4000 newbies have been enlisted so far, but that isn't a great hit rate out of 1 million legal immigrants and 12 million paperless souls from over the border. Compound those woeful numbers going in with 100 going out in battle, plus ever rising demands from the administration, and this immigrant pool of muscle just isn't doing it for 'em.

Some may say that it is a cheap Pisstakers shot to criticise constructive attempts to solve a problem. At least the Government bods tried and failed, oh well. Yes, I hold my hands up - to scratch my armpit and stretch before continuing the story.

Head banger military policy

Remember the first cave men, they banged their heads against the rocks a couple of times and even they worked out it wasn't a good idea to go that route. I beg the great minds of our times to come to GW's rescue before he repeats that 10,000 year ago mistake. This is my offering to get the ball rolling.

Rather than enlist non-Americans from overseas, why don't you spend billions scratching your head trying to address the more obvious issue - that patriotic US citizens don't really think enough of the Government's military policy to want to sign up to it. Or to make it real simple, GW, "How about making better use of current military might? Build bridges, instead of blowing them sky high"

More ideas required by outgoing President

If you have a better way of sexing up enlistment, or making the best of what you got, send your answers on a postcard to the Pentagon, because their next great idea is sort of retrograde - a step back to a couple of hundred years in fact. Last of the Mohicans sprang to mind reading this idea that should brighten up the lives of every out-of-work mercenary out there! Added to that, it should also lose them a lot of credibility with citizens today... The age of satire and hand-wringing head-holding and scalp-scratching will never die while GW is at the helm

A recent change in U.S. law, however, gave the Pentagon authority to bring immigrants to the United States if it determines it is vital to national security. So far, the Pentagon has not taken advantage of it, but the calls are growing to use this new authority. The International Herald Tribune .