Pisstakers try to find the funny side of serious world news. Enjoy!

If you thought retiring to a quaint rural area with cows grazing and wheat growing all around would be a quiet, fresh air experience, think again. It is common knowledge, at least amongst people who live in farming communities, that noise pollution and air pollution are alive and well in the countryside.

Air Pollution

Cows give off more CO2 than any other entity on earth and they don't do it silently or without odors. Farting and munching their way through precious grassland, millions of bovine bastards are killing the tranquility on earth and blowing holes in the ozone at a great rate. Even away from civilisation, deep in the Amazon, MacDonalds are making sure that ever more beefburger cattle release their noxious carbon dioxide and putrid fumes into the ex-virgin forest air at a quickening and frightening rate. Their signs should boast 90 billion burgers, 900 billion cubic feet of farts.

Noise pollution

I hear city folks shaking their heads in disbelief. How can idyllic rustic hamlets be noisier per cubic foot than most downtowns anywhere in the world? Answer me this, city slickers. When was the last time the earth shook and the air filled with the thunder of a combine harvester trucking down your high street? Ahah, you never thought of that did you. Farm machinery makes an almighty racket, it has to, to cover the sound of farmers' wives scolding the kids while they count the subsidy money.

The Drops

I am all for saving the environment, and will begin by eating a cow and then inventing an odor-eater to deal with my recycled beef. Oh, I forgot, there is already one of those embarrassing anal smell eaters - Drops from Toilex. I can't even begin to tell you the thoughts racing through my pisstaker head after reading their press release. To be fair, I saw the guy on TV and he was so sincere, it would break my heart to score cheap points about the reference to "Great stocking fillers from Toilex" .

What is this Blog Day all about?

Thanks to soaped up Rob for alerting me to the great environmental October blog fest. I am not sure where blog tipping fits in, but if million write an environment-related post, apparently it will make the politicians wise up and the world will be a better place.

I am waiting for John Chow to make some remark along the lines of This is a scam, because all the links go back to one site and in a few months the so-called charitable site will be pimped out with non-charitable ads. Whatever! Maybe these people don't think like him.