British businesses are considered to be among the worst payers in Europe and only the Italians are thought worse, a new survey suggests.

Oh dear, now that is bad, to have the Italians as the only thing between you and abject failure.

Rule Britannia's money

It is no surprise that the Brits are held in such lowly esteem by their European neighbors. After all, those fair-weather friendly islanders aren't really European, and always kick up a stink when their sovereignty is threatened, so what is the harm in criitcising them over payment delays? Ironically, this cheap shot at the old empire does bring to the attention the underlying mindset of Brits - that their money is the most important thing on earth.

Queen's head stays put

The Queen's head will never appear on a Euro coin, not because the european currency offends the monarchic supporters of the realm, but because sterling earns them a mint in exchange rate commission and interest. And the queen will jolly well be staying stamped on the pound until those economic advantages are lost, mark my words. At the demise of the economic advantage of sterling, you can bet your bottom dollar that every ounce of political will and lobbying will be directed at adopting the fabulous Euro. "No hard feelings, chaps, we were just waiting to see how you Johnny foreigners got on with it, and now we can see you are financially responsible old beans, we are with you all the way to the next time sterling is back in favor. "

Cooperate, please

The problem is, the business culture in Britain is so up your old school ass, that it will probably give the establishment a heart attack when they are a part of an economy where you are forced to settle bills in 30 days. Imagine the joy of currently doing business with UK companies who deliberately lose invoices, or pay bean counters to find fault on invoices so they can be returned to re-start the invoicing process. All this in the name of garnishing solid working relations with each other. They don't understand Europe, where co-operation has been the key to success. You cooperate with the French and Germans, else you are out. Consequently the UK will be bankrupt in a week if they try that delayed payment shit with the Germans.

Of course, the Italians will just be glad of some extra business with the UK and and look forward to even hotter competition as the worse payers in Europe.