Dowdy Boy George, whose photos prove that likeness never strikes twice, has been accused of kidnapping a handsome young Scandinavian man in white underpants.

It makes you wonder what the world is coming to. Who in their right mind would walk into a room in their briefs and subject themselves to a bout of photographic bondage with a guy who looks like he has already been to prison for kidnapping a male escort from Norway?

Luckily it ended well for the terrified photo-hooker. Norway's greatest ever semi-naked escapologist managed to disentangle himself from a hook by Boy George's bed, and bolted for safety. He will live to pose another day.


Perhaps next time, the shaken victim of a terrible misunderstanding should scout out his customers better. A quick Google search convinced me that I would not want to enter into the same room as a guy with prison bars already painted on his head. In fact, the victim is so naive, he should be deported to Norway for his own safety and made to herd elk. Perhaps that will cure him of his need to earn money from fallen pop stars, and convince him to find a different line of work.


Meanwhile, Boy George has till July 2008 to work out his lines for the jury. A tough call for someone used to miming for a living. Will he propose a terrible mix-up?

M'lud, do Norwegians not understand that us fallen English pop stars expect to roger our photographic models with sex toys as part of the deal?

The judge will of course have to bite his tongue, being familiar with and in agreement with this sort of tawdry arrangement, but, according to the letter of the law that applies to commoners, he may have to send Boy George to jail for the rest of his miserable life.

Amen, and thanks to the NY Post and The Sun newspaper for such thorough background material.