It's Christmas!
Dec06 Filed in: Lifestyle
As you tuck into your hormonal turkey, or let your new belt out after fourteen mince pies, or insert the ear plugs to shut out the noise of screaming kids choking on their latest plastic toys from China - remember, not everyone is having a great time. There are lots of people out there on the streets today, and they aren't carol-singing.
There are lots of people wrapped up, not in swaddling clothes, but in 8 year-old sleeping bags and a couple of cardboard boxes. And they aren't lying in a manger, they are curled up shivering in danger of a good kicking from some drunken party goers. There are lots of people drinking too, but not cheering their good fortune with a nice champagne or vintage port. No, plenty of down-and-out folks are sipping on purple meths spiced up with a slice of lemon they found in a trash can.
But let's not get too hung up on unfortunate ex-bankers with psychiatric issues and body odor.
As you flip the switch on your 3000-watt flashing Christmas light extravaganza and cringe at the speed the electric meter is spinning, think about the poor Jews sweating as they light up yet another expensive candle.
And as you think about the baby Jesus and all that he has done to save the world from death, destruction and general shite times, remember the Muslims who think Jesus was born way too late to save anyone, least of all his deluded followers.
And don't get too agitated when your credit card bill comes through the letterbox in January. Think like a Buddhist and realise that what goes around comes around.
And when you say "Thanks" for the gaudiest most ill-fitting dress made by a minimum-waged well-meaning but incompetent husband with less taste than the turkey you just cooked him, recall that immortal home-maker motto (from god, not Martha Stewart) "Reap as ye sew."
Or by all means feel free to express yourself like a penny-pinching Scottish monk, and chant "Wtf, amen, unless we get a compounded discount rate on every 10 Christmases, amen, that's the last time we celebrate like that again a-a-men.
On that joyous note, raise your glasses and let's wish a happy holiday to all those less fortunate than ourselves - unless you saw yourself in at least two of the above sad scenarios, in which case, there aren't too many worse off than you. Cheers.
Let's hear it for the homeless
There are lots of people wrapped up, not in swaddling clothes, but in 8 year-old sleeping bags and a couple of cardboard boxes. And they aren't lying in a manger, they are curled up shivering in danger of a good kicking from some drunken party goers. There are lots of people drinking too, but not cheering their good fortune with a nice champagne or vintage port. No, plenty of down-and-out folks are sipping on purple meths spiced up with a slice of lemon they found in a trash can.
But let's not get too hung up on unfortunate ex-bankers with psychiatric issues and body odor.
Let's hear it for the non-Christians
As you flip the switch on your 3000-watt flashing Christmas light extravaganza and cringe at the speed the electric meter is spinning, think about the poor Jews sweating as they light up yet another expensive candle.
And as you think about the baby Jesus and all that he has done to save the world from death, destruction and general shite times, remember the Muslims who think Jesus was born way too late to save anyone, least of all his deluded followers.
And don't get too agitated when your credit card bill comes through the letterbox in January. Think like a Buddhist and realise that what goes around comes around.
And when you say "Thanks" for the gaudiest most ill-fitting dress made by a minimum-waged well-meaning but incompetent husband with less taste than the turkey you just cooked him, recall that immortal home-maker motto (from god, not Martha Stewart) "Reap as ye sew."
Or by all means feel free to express yourself like a penny-pinching Scottish monk, and chant "Wtf, amen, unless we get a compounded discount rate on every 10 Christmases, amen, that's the last time we celebrate like that again a-a-men.
Happy days are here again
On that joyous note, raise your glasses and let's wish a happy holiday to all those less fortunate than ourselves - unless you saw yourself in at least two of the above sad scenarios, in which case, there aren't too many worse off than you. Cheers.
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