The first cop leg-shooting incident of the week occurred when a policeman from Morris County, New Jersey, was putting his sidearm back into his holster after checking in a criminal. Somehow, against all the rules, the safety was off and he accidentally shot himself in the leg. He was given a big hug and told off for being silly.

In Florida, there was a second incident that saw a cop and his dog dead, and their surviving colleague clutching a bleeding thigh. The miscreant, who did not shoot the cops by accident, was peppered with 68 retaliatory shots to the body from SWAT officers. This was perfectly acceptable behavior according to the Sheriff. The only reason they let off 110 rounds and hit him 68 times was"

"I suspect that's all the ammunition they had at the time!"

The Pisstakers have been told that, back at the station, he made a point of giving his gun-toting men a big hug and a consolation bonus. He also told the shot cop not to be silly, of course he would be on full pay while he recuperated, and they would replace his blood splattered uniform when he was ready to return to duty. 2010 sounded like a nice round number.

As if to prove that there is no place for a softly softly approach to cop-related firearm misdemeanours, another officer from Morris County shot himself this week. Yes, just three days after the first self-mutilation, a cop from the same police station ended up in hospital, this time removing his gun from its holster in the armory. Again, bang, a bullet went straight into his leg.

Neither of the police officers in the two New Jersey self shootings were ever in a life-threatening condition, although on reviewing his approach to discipline, the Morris County Sheriff has issued a statement.

"If any of my men ever shoot themselves again, I will shoot them 68 times for good measure."