The easiest thing to do is post this link to a very serious business blog and let you read the hilarity for yourselves. Don't let your own guard down, though, there is no telling when you might say something daft and be reminded of it forever.

Man introducing a married couple to new people. "Hello, this is my friend Sue and," (pointing at the husband) "her daughter Christine."

"Would you like a cabbage, sir?" asked the French greengrocer. "No, I'm Scottish," replied the non-French customer.

"For the benefit of all those watching (snooker) on black and white TVs, he is going for the green."

And just so we don't forget the imperfections of machines too, this is a permanent reminder that on this day in history, Mike's maroon banner should have been green!