If Valentines Day sucks so much, maybe you are doing something wrong. Guys, does this boring interchange sound familiar?

"What do you want for Valentine's Day, honey?

"Dunno," she replies in a monotone voice, staring out the window, painting her nails, fantasizing about Brad Pitt doing her over the washing machine.

"How about some chocolate, honey?"

"Yeah," she just about bothers to reply, "I guess chocolate would be good."

So, forget the poxy little box of Ferrero Rocher or 2 dozen Hershey bars from Walmart, give her some real damn chocolate, and lots of it.

You may not be a slim-line Brad Pitt in the laundry room, but what woman can resist a 200lb block of Belgian chocolate sculpted into the shape of her favorite fantasy washing machine? All being well, you just put the suck back into Valentines Day, mister, in a positive, oooh that feels good kind of utility way.

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Obviously some themes in the love department are best left to the experts. These experts present one of the blackest resumés of Valentines Day you could ever hope to read. It has been a well visited resource for the last 10 years, and was recently updated. "Enjoy!"