Hands up, does anyone still watch Big Brother? I see. So this post is for you, Mrs Jones in Wyoming.

It is now up to series 8 in America and I believe that in its non-celebrity format, (I use the word celebrity loosely), Big Bro' is succeeding admirably in its mission. That mission is not to entertain, stupid, but to cave in attention spans and leave demand for crap TV soaring in its wake. (In fairness, it is doing a better job of the former, but give it time.)

If there is any justice, George Orwell will turn in his grave and unleash his version of the Japanese Thought Police with such venom that the producers' last drop of creative juice dries up. Surely at that low point, nadir, rock-bottom time, they will agree that it is no longer worth spewing out the TV show and will pull the plug. Of course, there is no real justice in an Orwellian world, so, as you were, Mrs Jones, your program is safe.

In case you don't even know what this show is about, check out Zenny's deconstructions. Guaranteed to leave you in the picture, scratching your head wondering what the world has come to.

Or if you fancy a change and want to experience the feeling of passing out with boredom in your lounge, tune in to Big Brother for real.

And finally, my prediction for where the Big Brother world is heading: the octagon full of dross TV that is series 8, is rolling unsteadily and uninterestingly towards the nirvana of BB100. Can't wait can you!?!!