Martial arts billing: Seagal v van Damme
Jan09
Who is the toughest martial arts actor in Hollywood? The ultimate martial arts billing for me would be the Belgian pretty boy van Damme, versus the grimacing pony tailed fat man, Steven Seagal.
In a free-for-all van Damme v Seagal scrap, I think you would see whirring van Damme's feet flying through the air, having been launched skyward in the flick of a wrist by Seagal. I sort of have an argument to back up that bold statement.
Aikido beats Tai Kwando any day. Seagal is Mr Aikido, van Damme is a ballerina Tae Kwando-ist. Just watch this non-Hollywood video and see how far Seagal doesn't move and how low he stays to the ground. Killer tactics.
The attacks you see are for real, and even with a script and a stunt team for back-up, van Damme in a Seagal thumb hold would also perform somersaults to save breaking his arm!
In a head to head, I am sorry, but all, and I mean all my money would be on Seagal. It wouldn't be pretty, but van Damme would be on the floor nursing some pretty nasty bruises, if he were lucky.
We will never see a fight between the ultimate unbeatable martial artists Bruce v Brandon Lee, the dead duo;
At a push, Bruce Willis could probably handle Jennifer Jason Leigh;
Jackie Chan v Chuck Norris? Norris is alive and able, but he would be laughing too much to fend off Chan's hong kong fuey hooey.
Stallone v Arnie? That pair would sooner eat a chop than deliver one;
Statham v Vin Diesel? Battle of the baldies! Nah.
In a free-for-all van Damme v Seagal scrap, I think you would see whirring van Damme's feet flying through the air, having been launched skyward in the flick of a wrist by Seagal. I sort of have an argument to back up that bold statement.
Aikido beats Tai Kwando any day. Seagal is Mr Aikido, van Damme is a ballerina Tae Kwando-ist. Just watch this non-Hollywood video and see how far Seagal doesn't move and how low he stays to the ground. Killer tactics.
The attacks you see are for real, and even with a script and a stunt team for back-up, van Damme in a Seagal thumb hold would also perform somersaults to save breaking his arm!
In a head to head, I am sorry, but all, and I mean all my money would be on Seagal. It wouldn't be pretty, but van Damme would be on the floor nursing some pretty nasty bruises, if he were lucky.
Other fights between martial arts experts
We will never see a fight between the ultimate unbeatable martial artists Bruce v Brandon Lee, the dead duo;
At a push, Bruce Willis could probably handle Jennifer Jason Leigh;
Jackie Chan v Chuck Norris? Norris is alive and able, but he would be laughing too much to fend off Chan's hong kong fuey hooey.
Stallone v Arnie? That pair would sooner eat a chop than deliver one;
Statham v Vin Diesel? Battle of the baldies! Nah.
Do you have any ideas for a killer celebrity billing? Ever seen this knife attack on a non-celebrity? Any idea what Wado Ryu karate can do to protect a celebrity kid?
|
