And tonight, X-Factor finalist Eoghan Quigg, you are...
Dec08
Gone!
Oops, my Eoghan Quigg X-Factor prediction didn't come true. The boy got well and truly whipped by Alexandra Burke, JLS, and every other boy band and Beyoncé that appeared on stage to sing along.
When I was watching Eoghan Quigg get booted out of the final of UK "talent" show, X-Factor, many thoughts sprung to mind.
"Eoghan Quigg fans can look forward to a good beating in January when their newly redundant parents see the dozens of £1 phone votes on the bill."
"I'll never get that time back"
"If Eoghan had come back to my school, he would have been called a ponce and sent packing. We hated schoolboy TV celebrities!"
Eoghan Quigg, you are Jimmy Osmond?
Remember that talent show "Stars in your eyes" where the contestants imitate a pop star, in a rather disturbingly accurate way? I am convinced that the winking, skipping Eoghan Quigg was basing his act on 70's pre-pubescent heart throb, Jimmy Osmond. Aaaaargh. Eoghan, you deserve to lose, subjecting us oldies to a re-run of that precocious tinsel shite.
Sing-along-a-Eoghan
Defeated X-Factor finalist, Eoghan Quigg may have lost the chance to sing Halleluja, the X-Factor Christmas song, but his mentor, Simon Cowell is already planning ahead to next Christmas.
Folks, start saving for a really cheesy and unoriginal compilation album called Sing-a-long-a-Eoghan. The triple album, to be sold for $5.00 or £5 each, will be featuring such forgettablehits as Merry TellyTubby Christmas, Eoghan the red-lipped Ewok, and of course Halleluja (Opus in 3 octaves lower than Alexandra Burke's well-sung version.)
In case you are unfamiliar with the UK term "Sing-a-long" it is synonymous with music for pleasure cover songs from hip crooners like sing-a-long-a Max Bygraves, Perry Como, Des O'Connor, or Sinatra clone, Harry Connick Jr.
I know, you can't wait either - to see if Eoghan has his teeth done to perfection, too!
To catch up on all the celebrity gossip related to X-Factor, check out Celebrity Insider and X-Factor - and for some generally funny celebrity posts that have nothing to do with UK talentless shows...
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Eoghan Quigg has the X-Factor for Diana Vickers
Dec08
It's official, X-Factor finalist Eoghan Quigg has a new girlfirend, Diana Vickers. Hip hip hooray, let's join them as they celebrate in the back of the limo.
Oh. Judging by his expression in the photo from Celebrity Insider Photos and News, I would hazard a guess that Irish ewok lookalike, Eoghan, has already visualised life as a married has-been. Or is he simply at the point of mental collapse, because he realises that he has already forgotten the words to his favorite ABBA song!
The loss of memory was possibly accelerated by the intense shagging he received after the show. No, not from his mentor, Simon Cowell, you sickoes, but from the shagging he fantasized about with his new super-charged ex X-Factor girlfriend, Diana Vickers. (She is the one grinning like a cat that got the cream, lost the battle but won the war and a possible recording contract.)
I must point out that whilst the camera never lies, it does have a habit of catching people off-guard, mid blink, on the wrong side.
In the very next frame, you might well see young Eoghan resume crying for Argentina, Ireland and half of Weeping Cross. The sobbing stops when Diana reassures him that he does have what it takes, emotionally and physically, to stay the course to inevitable showbiz oblivion.
And in the frame after that, looking across at Diana, Eoghan bursts into a horny teary smile fit for a cat that is going to get the cream.
Unfortunately, Diana's smile crumbles as she experiences her first headache - how to break the news to her ex-boyfriend that he doesn't possess the X-Factor gene that Eoghan obviously wants to pass on to her children, before the final.
It must be pointed out that, in the making of this post, no tears were shed, no virginity lost, and I still believe Eoghan will win the X-Factor 2008.
The loss of memory was possibly accelerated by the intense shagging he received after the show. No, not from his mentor, Simon Cowell, you sickoes, but from the shagging he fantasized about with his new super-charged ex X-Factor girlfriend, Diana Vickers. (She is the one grinning like a cat that got the cream, lost the battle but won the war and a possible recording contract.)
I must point out that whilst the camera never lies, it does have a habit of catching people off-guard, mid blink, on the wrong side.
In the very next frame, you might well see young Eoghan resume crying for Argentina, Ireland and half of Weeping Cross. The sobbing stops when Diana reassures him that he does have what it takes, emotionally and physically, to stay the course to inevitable showbiz oblivion.
And in the frame after that, looking across at Diana, Eoghan bursts into a horny teary smile fit for a cat that is going to get the cream.
Unfortunately, Diana's smile crumbles as she experiences her first headache - how to break the news to her ex-boyfriend that he doesn't possess the X-Factor gene that Eoghan obviously wants to pass on to her children, before the final.
It must be pointed out that, in the making of this post, no tears were shed, no virginity lost, and I still believe Eoghan will win the X-Factor 2008.
Eoghan Quigg will win X-Factor
Dec08
Eoghan Quigg, Simon Cowell's protegé, will win the X-Factor, no doubt about it.
Think about it. The X-Factor is a show looking for a potential pop star role model and Eoghan has been groomed by Cowell to become the next Telly Tubby Teen idol to take the telly by storm.
On the minor matter of singing ability, if he can hit notes belted out by ABBA, then he must have what it takes vocally, to be a pop star. It is irrelevant that he was not even a twinkle in his mother's eye when most of his cover songs were written.
Mr Simon Cowell will make Eoghan a star, because he has all marketing angles covered.
The teen audience love him cause he is "role model". 16 going on 12, the cutesy giant ewok from Ireland looks like a teen, dresses like a teen, and winks like one too. And slushy mums will buy his records too, in part because of the nostalgia oozing from the cover songs, but mainly because his regurgitated music for pleasure may inspire their kids to be an X-Factor satr.
Eoghan's trips to his local Spar shop without being accosted by fervent fans are numbered. I can feel it.he is going to win. What do you think?
I am publishing this minutes before the results are announced. At 21.03, let the future prove me wrong.
and teens have the spending power to make Quig and Cowel very rich, even in a recession. . Teens aren't going to be depressed by the recession, their spending power is secure
Think about it. The X-Factor is a show looking for a potential pop star role model and Eoghan has been groomed by Cowell to become the next Telly Tubby Teen idol to take the telly by storm.
On the minor matter of singing ability, if he can hit notes belted out by ABBA, then he must have what it takes vocally, to be a pop star. It is irrelevant that he was not even a twinkle in his mother's eye when most of his cover songs were written.
Mr Simon Cowell will make Eoghan a star, because he has all marketing angles covered.
The teen audience love him cause he is "role model". 16 going on 12, the cutesy giant ewok from Ireland looks like a teen, dresses like a teen, and winks like one too. And slushy mums will buy his records too, in part because of the nostalgia oozing from the cover songs, but mainly because his regurgitated music for pleasure may inspire their kids to be an X-Factor satr.
Eoghan's trips to his local Spar shop without being accosted by fervent fans are numbered. I can feel it.he is going to win. What do you think?
I am publishing this minutes before the results are announced. At 21.03, let the future prove me wrong.
and teens have the spending power to make Quig and Cowel very rich, even in a recession. . Teens aren't going to be depressed by the recession, their spending power is secure
