Digging through the archives , I found this story about a part of my October honeymoon in France. Have I been married that long already!

We had an invitation to go to Saint-Tropez to see a regatta of 350 boats. It was pretty cool as it included the biggest tall ships in the world - from Penduick 1,2,3 and 5 (4 was sunk in a storm) to a maverick sailor in a 12 foot row boat with a sail that looked like it doubled for a bedsheet. There was also a group of boats called Wally, a high-speed Australian plastic pig. It was hideous and did nothing to dispel the idea that Aussies can be flash but tasteless.

Don't play it again, Sam

The multi-million dollar procession took several hours to arrive and it certainly portrayed how the other half live. Some pretentious guy in white pyjamas was playing a haunting saxophone number aboard a 125-foot schooner. He was no Gerry Rafferty.

Not far behind him were a couple of formula one "cigarette" jet boats. These are capable of lift off if you set them on their tails. When they revved up they instantly drowned out all ambient noise, which was much appreciated by those of us that didn't appreciate the saxophone. The downside was the vibration that was powerful enough to jigger your bones. No fun for those still digesting their lobster lunches.

The rich scene

Talking of rumbling tummies, the dockside was lined with loads of over-weight, 60-something botox-ed playboys accompanied by their young tanned dolly birds. Do they have no shame, or is it, no brains? I had to question what was lodged between their ears, when for some reason, the land-lubber jet setters waved back at the equally privileged twats standing on their poop decks grinning and waving shorewards.

There must be some appeal in being a self-appointed king of the French seaside resort. I can't see it appeal myself, so they are welcome to their piece of paradise. Having said that, I would be happy to be part of the community populated by guys in 12-foot bath tubs with a sail. First one to the bar wins a beer and a bag of chips.