MSN is closing down
19 Oct 06 Filed in: Internet
Some more spam methinks!
Dear User, (don't they mean loser?)
We are Andy and John the directors of MSN, (yeah, right!) sorry for the interruption but this is an email to inform you that MSN is closing down. (OMG quick, phone Bill Gates, warn him of his impending unemployment.)
MSN is closing down because too many inconsiderate people are taking up all of the names (eg. making up lots of different accounts for just one person), we only have 578 names left. (Oh, how stupid of me for thinking the number of permutations of 26 to the power of 26 to the power of 10 digits and letters was inexhaustible.)
We will be closing down on Wednesday 1st November 2006. (Let me check my schedule. Oh, OK, but make it after 4pm please.)
If you would like to close your account, DO NOT SEND THIS MESSAGE ON. (I would love to close my accounts, if I could ever remember the names and passwords of umpteen attempts to remain anonymous on porn sites.)
If you would like to keep your account, then SEND THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE ON YOUR CONTACT LIST. (Of course I will, cause you are Andy and John, directors of a Microsoft company that never ceases to try and get into everyone's life somehow to make it better for us.)
This is not a joke, (sorry, but it is!) we will be shutting down the servers. (Like, you will be doing the usual Ctrl-Alt delete and pulling the plug straight out the mains?)
Please could you send this Email on, Thank You!
WHO EVER DOES NOT SEND THIS MESSEAGE, YOUR ACCOUNT WILL BE CLOSED AND YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY 10.00 A MONTH TO USE IT. (Now you are taking the piss, right? Are you responding to our request for writers and want to win a coaster for this pisstaker "article"?)
SEND THIS TO EVERYONE ON YOUR CONTACT LIST. NOW YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. PLEASE DO NOT 'REPLY' OR 'FORWARD' THIS EMAIL BUT INSTEAD 'COPY' THE WHOLE EMAIL, GO BACK TO YOUR 'INBOX', CLICK ON 'NEW' AND 'PASTE' THE TEXT ONTO A COMPLETELY NEW EMAIL. (Probably the most concise instructions I have ever read from the Microsoft Corporation. Why couldn't you guys have written the dialogue boxes for Windows?)
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION. (No, thank you for your helpful tips on spamming my friends.)
Dear User, (don't they mean loser?)
We are Andy and John the directors of MSN, (yeah, right!) sorry for the interruption but this is an email to inform you that MSN is closing down. (OMG quick, phone Bill Gates, warn him of his impending unemployment.)
MSN is closing down because too many inconsiderate people are taking up all of the names (eg. making up lots of different accounts for just one person), we only have 578 names left. (Oh, how stupid of me for thinking the number of permutations of 26 to the power of 26 to the power of 10 digits and letters was inexhaustible.)
We will be closing down on Wednesday 1st November 2006. (Let me check my schedule. Oh, OK, but make it after 4pm please.)
If you would like to close your account, DO NOT SEND THIS MESSAGE ON. (I would love to close my accounts, if I could ever remember the names and passwords of umpteen attempts to remain anonymous on porn sites.)
If you would like to keep your account, then SEND THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE ON YOUR CONTACT LIST. (Of course I will, cause you are Andy and John, directors of a Microsoft company that never ceases to try and get into everyone's life somehow to make it better for us.)
This is not a joke, (sorry, but it is!) we will be shutting down the servers. (Like, you will be doing the usual Ctrl-Alt delete and pulling the plug straight out the mains?)
Please could you send this Email on, Thank You!
WHO EVER DOES NOT SEND THIS MESSEAGE, YOUR ACCOUNT WILL BE CLOSED AND YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY 10.00 A MONTH TO USE IT. (Now you are taking the piss, right? Are you responding to our request for writers and want to win a coaster for this pisstaker "article"?)
SEND THIS TO EVERYONE ON YOUR CONTACT LIST. NOW YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. PLEASE DO NOT 'REPLY' OR 'FORWARD' THIS EMAIL BUT INSTEAD 'COPY' THE WHOLE EMAIL, GO BACK TO YOUR 'INBOX', CLICK ON 'NEW' AND 'PASTE' THE TEXT ONTO A COMPLETELY NEW EMAIL. (Probably the most concise instructions I have ever read from the Microsoft Corporation. Why couldn't you guys have written the dialogue boxes for Windows?)
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION. (No, thank you for your helpful tips on spamming my friends.)
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