Mr Black is one angry man, but very funny with it.

Very clever and intelligent arguments from George Carlin explaining how god, the sun and Joe Pesci work to make the world a better place.

King Kong meets Hans Christian Anderson! When Santa befriends a gingerbread man, he puts his friend on top of a Christmas tree and ends up being strafed by biplanes as!

Why is it funny when people hurt themselves in attempted stunts? Hold onto your privates or whatever it is tingles when you see someone in pain and watch this festive offering.

This is cynical enough for us to be included as a sort of Pisstake of Christmas, Christmas songs, nativity scenes and good old global warming. It is a really slow and black rendition, trying to get kids in the mood for the end of the world.

We used to think the designer sitcom, Friends, was amusing, till we got involved with Seinfeld. From then on, the clever writing and deliberately flawed characters in Seinfeld made you realise just how shallow Aniston and company were. 6 picture-perfect prima donna millionaires flirting around a yuppy caff - that just so blows, especially with their dependency on 25-second sound bites and toothy grins.

But, hey, things change, just ask the Romans. Another fad, Always Sunny in Philadelphia, has come along, and in one fell swoop Seinfeld has got old, and a part of Friends has become funny again. Huh?

Friends has a new found ability to amuse!

Incredible to think that the sitcom with a totally unbelievable premise of 3 guys and 3 gals, roomies, beautiful, and friends, (bollocks they are!) could enchant a nation for so long. Sorry, but did nobody see through Jennifer How many failed relationships? Aniston, or Joey or the perfectly dutzy Phoebe? I'll give you a dime for the giggle when Ross and Rachel don't get married, but beyond that....

The real grins in this video are all down to a cast that includes Danny de Vito. What a guy. 4 foot something of dynamite comedy talent. Just look at him and he makes you giggle. Just think of him in Taxi, and he makes you laugh out loud. It must be true, little people are obnoxious. Remember George in Seinfeld?

Seinfeld was full of pearly white poseurs too.

It was a beautifully scripted observational masterpiece and was brilliantly performed, apart from Jerry Seinfeld walking around like a midget lumberjack woodentop. Don't you just want to go up to George, and tell him you can't hit a man with glasses, so would he mind removing them before you pummel his smarmy face? And we all want an uncle like Kramer. And if Elaine was as tall as she was pretty, wow, she'd dwarf even Tyra Banks.

The new "Sunny" kids on the block totally rock to a new tune.

The great bonus is, this video was just one of many offerings from the brilliant new fad, Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Guys, if your wife or a partner says she has a secret to tell you, and you are on Maury's show, you had better watch out - for good reason! She's been cheating on you. The revelation in this particular video is, however, beyond reason!

Shit, dad - you aren't the father!.

It didn't exactly need a degree in genealogical science to see the kiddy was of a slightly different ethnicity to the parents. But that dashed dad had clearly been blinded by the baby since birth.

Usually what happens is, the woman in front of the cameras tells Maury she has a secret. She tears up a little. Sobbing, she confesses that she wants to reveal to her husband that he is not their kid's father. More tears. Of course she knows he will be gutted. Hysteria sets in.

Ordinarily the husband, oblivious to this recent conversation, jives on to the stage, a bit nervous, but OK. He knows there are a few possible outcomes. But which is it?

Playing along, Dad says he has no idea what is going on (yeah right!), but on the big question from Maury, he confirms,

"Yes, I am definitely the child's father - and happy to be the man in the house..."

. Then the seeds of doubt are sown. Has she been having an affair, but didn't get pregnant. Oh well, not too bad and we will get over it on national TV, won't we honey? Or did she get pregnant and now he has to father someone else's kid if they are to stay together? Hmm, that might make a mockery of the happy family he has been happily partaking in? Or is it a curve ball from Maury and the quivering father is going to be told that he is his wife's brother?

The whooping audience of unemployed hecklers stirs it up. The definitive DNA test is read out by Maury.
"You are NOT the father of ..."

Being daytime TV, 100% of these dedicated, loving fathers, who learn they are not a dad after all, go crazy, crying, devastated from the shock.

But did they really have no idea, no concept that their woman was a cheating no good ...?

Lilou would say "No. They were in denial. Losers."

Shit, girl, that loser is the father!

99 out of 100 cheating men accused of being the father of a child by an ex-girlfriend/acquaintance, insist in the pre-show interview that they are blameless, innocent, kushti. 99 out of 100 of these men on Maury are exposed as poorly educated, low income, slightly dim young men with a dick that stands to attention even around a female cat. Out on stage, these guys, blether and shout and yell unintelligible English. Only one in a hundred guys do the dance when it is proven they are not the father. 100% of girls should throw themselves on the floor doing the dance that makes the earth part and swallow up a "father" with an IQ lower than their kid's shoe size.

Shit, I pity the father. She's a loser!

- So, 99 out of 100 cheating men accused of being the father on Maury blether and shout and yell unintelligible English as part of their daily thing. However, a handful on Maury are yelping and bullshitting fro good reason. They are trying to drown out the unintelligible screams of a woman you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. It gets to the point sometimes where you wish the guy would be proven seedless, just so he can avoid purgatory with the squealing cow after his paycheck. But somehow you know that all guys faced with these gold-digging monsters on Maury are going to eat their words and enter hell when the DNA results are read out!

But did they really have no idea, no concept that they were the big daddy ...?
Lilou would say, "Of course they knew. Losers."

Another loser scenario

So many times the hillbilly guy will say,

"That can't be my kid, look, its teeth ain't like mine!"

Absolutely right, the kid's teeth aren't brown and it has more than 3 in the front.

Another loser scenario - 2

Or some other guy will shout hysterically that no way can that be his child, as he only slept with that ho' twice. Mauri would then ask,

"So, did you wear protection?"
And of course he says he did, while the girl is shaking her head indicating, no!

"And if the DNA test proves this is your child, will you provide for the child?"
And then of course, roles are reversed and the woman starts nodding and the guy says of course he will.

Guinness has spawned some very creative advertising campaigns, one of which is this trio's trip back in time. The meteor was a piece of genius, in our humble opinion.

And just to put you in the picture about what Guinness can do: the amber, or rather, the black nectar from Ireland has been responsible for many things over the centuries. Drunken solace in times of famine; double vision diversion in times of plenty, and hang-overs most of the time, not just in Ireland.

Guinness and snooker

There was a time when you couldn't watch snooker on British TV without thinking of downing a pint of the dark ale. That was brilliant cross brand promotion, alcohol and sport. Some would say you cannot call snooker a sport, and Guinness isn't everyone's idea of booze, but whatever you think of glorified pool for gentlemen, there is no better product to promote it than Guinness - a pint that takes 6 minutes to pour properly!!

Admittedly, there is a better product, but the industrial coatings industry is yet to come up with a fun way to watch paint dry.

Everyone has ridden a bike at some stage in their life, but not like this guy. No doubt he fell off a few times in the making of the video, and scared a few fish and car drivers, but there have to be some enhanced movie cuts and special effects in there too, right?

Thanks to Odd news for this link to the world's worst burglar. There is a long list of contenders for this title however.

There was a desperately thick character in Britain who walked into a bank with a gun, went up to the cashier and pushed a note under the glass. The bank employee read the menacing message and calmly handed over about £5000 ($9000). The robber disappeared and the cashier sounded the alarm. Before the robber had even got to the end of the street, the police were already making their way calmly to his house to lay in wait. The dumbass had written the note on the back of a pre-printed paying-in slip - for his own account.

Burglar tied up by elderly folk

This story from New Zealand was picked up by the Taipei Times. Can you follow this tortuous route to our website? The whole incident is very embarrassing. There were mumblings that the embarrassment of such a cock-up would soften up the judge, but he was having none of it..

Burglar loses face

An incompetent burglar captured and hog-tied by elderly members of a petanque club was a "laughing stock" in prison and would never again be able to hold his head up in criminal circles, his lawyer said yesterday. Clinton Michael Dearman, 38, was captured and tied up by arriving members after he broke into the club in Christchurch on Dec. 11.

The humiliation Dearman had suffered as a result of media publicity should be taken into account in sentencing, his lawyer said. But Judge Michael Crosbie showed little sympathy, sentencing Dearman to two years and four months in jail.

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