The internet is hardly 100% pure quality, and not all TV is garbage, but... Months of wall-to-wall DNA testing to out cheating partners may have been good for Maury's ratings, but it almost destroyed my faith in humanity in broadcasting! And, yesterday, to bolster ratings, Maury Povich further plumbed the depths of content with re-hashed trash viral videos. Aaaaargh!

Maury's production quality isn't all bad

In his favor, Maury's mega cheap show highlighted how TV and internet users have quite different expectations when it comes to visual quality. TV is all about high def camera work, snazzy computer-generated graphics and slick transitions. In contrast, if the clip of the DJ test-riding a kid's buggy had debuted on TV, the offending broadcaster of low resolution, blurry and jumpy crap would have been closed down in minutes for unnecessarily polluting the airwaves.

Bad move bringing internet to TV

That audio-visual calamity was a raving success on-line, but perhaps in the process of spending $300 on content to bring it to land-bound audiences, Maury just signed the death knell for his daytime show and others like it. Let's face it, with recycled cheap trash like this being served up, Maury clearly has almost nothing original of his own to offer, and with the internet so accessible "Why tune into TV any more?"

Internet and TV lines are coming closer

While Maury is serving up over-produced mega-dumbed down TV garbage, the internet movers and shakers are quietly making deals to bring prime TV on line. Add to that their access to content that will never be seen on TV (apart from re-hashed once popular video clips) and it is looking quite bleak for Maury and co in their current terrestial format.

Conclusion

There is only one obvious advance I can see him making in the ratings war against internet shows. Picture if you will, Maury crapping on the toilet while cheating partners beat up on each other in the background. It has to be a hit. Especially compared to the normal screeching drivel.

Guys, if your wife or a partner says she has a secret to tell you, and you are on Maury's show, you had better watch out - for good reason! She's been cheating on you. The revelation in this particular video is, however, beyond reason!

Shit, dad - you aren't the father!.

It didn't exactly need a degree in genealogical science to see the kiddy was of a slightly different ethnicity to the parents. But that dashed dad had clearly been blinded by the baby since birth.

Usually what happens is, the woman in front of the cameras tells Maury she has a secret. She tears up a little. Sobbing, she confesses that she wants to reveal to her husband that he is not their kid's father. More tears. Of course she knows he will be gutted. Hysteria sets in.

Ordinarily the husband, oblivious to this recent conversation, jives on to the stage, a bit nervous, but OK. He knows there are a few possible outcomes. But which is it?

Playing along, Dad says he has no idea what is going on (yeah right!), but on the big question from Maury, he confirms,

"Yes, I am definitely the child's father - and happy to be the man in the house..."

. Then the seeds of doubt are sown. Has she been having an affair, but didn't get pregnant. Oh well, not too bad and we will get over it on national TV, won't we honey? Or did she get pregnant and now he has to father someone else's kid if they are to stay together? Hmm, that might make a mockery of the happy family he has been happily partaking in? Or is it a curve ball from Maury and the quivering father is going to be told that he is his wife's brother?

The whooping audience of unemployed hecklers stirs it up. The definitive DNA test is read out by Maury.
"You are NOT the father of ..."

Being daytime TV, 100% of these dedicated, loving fathers, who learn they are not a dad after all, go crazy, crying, devastated from the shock.

But did they really have no idea, no concept that their woman was a cheating no good ...?

Lilou would say "No. They were in denial. Losers."

Shit, girl, that loser is the father!

99 out of 100 cheating men accused of being the father of a child by an ex-girlfriend/acquaintance, insist in the pre-show interview that they are blameless, innocent, kushti. 99 out of 100 of these men on Maury are exposed as poorly educated, low income, slightly dim young men with a dick that stands to attention even around a female cat. Out on stage, these guys, blether and shout and yell unintelligible English. Only one in a hundred guys do the dance when it is proven they are not the father. 100% of girls should throw themselves on the floor doing the dance that makes the earth part and swallow up a "father" with an IQ lower than their kid's shoe size.

Shit, I pity the father. She's a loser!

- So, 99 out of 100 cheating men accused of being the father on Maury blether and shout and yell unintelligible English as part of their daily thing. However, a handful on Maury are yelping and bullshitting fro good reason. They are trying to drown out the unintelligible screams of a woman you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. It gets to the point sometimes where you wish the guy would be proven seedless, just so he can avoid purgatory with the squealing cow after his paycheck. But somehow you know that all guys faced with these gold-digging monsters on Maury are going to eat their words and enter hell when the DNA results are read out!

But did they really have no idea, no concept that they were the big daddy ...?
Lilou would say, "Of course they knew. Losers."

Another loser scenario

So many times the hillbilly guy will say,

"That can't be my kid, look, its teeth ain't like mine!"

Absolutely right, the kid's teeth aren't brown and it has more than 3 in the front.

Another loser scenario - 2

Or some other guy will shout hysterically that no way can that be his child, as he only slept with that ho' twice. Mauri would then ask,

"So, did you wear protection?"
And of course he says he did, while the girl is shaking her head indicating, no!

"And if the DNA test proves this is your child, will you provide for the child?"
And then of course, roles are reversed and the woman starts nodding and the guy says of course he will.