An announcer tried to zip some life into the daily boredom of millions traveling on the London Underground.

LONDON (Reuters) - An official announcer for London's Tube system has been sacked after making spoof messages mocking American tourists, peeping Toms and sweaty commuters.

Voiceover artist Emma Clarke, 36, recorded the announcements in the same smooth tones that have warned millions of passengers to "Mind The Gap" and posted them on her Web site.

The messages include:

* "We would like to remind our American tourist friends that you are almost certainly talking too loudly."

Seems harsh for pointing out stereotypes. Or was she fired for not mentioning the Germans too?

How many people suddenly averted their eyes at the following announcement and pretended to study the metro map that they already know like the back of their hand?

* "Would the passenger in the red shirt pretending to read the paper but who is actually staring at that woman's chest please stop. You are not fooling anyone, you filthy pervert."

What is wrong with reminding folks of their pseudo intellectual behavior?

* "Would passengers filling in answers on their Sudokus please accept that they are just crosswords for the unimaginative and are not in any way more impressive just because they contain numbers."

This next one must have struck a chord with Japanese tourists used to traveling the Tokyo metro where repressed breast-grabbing businessmen are rife.

* "Here we are crammed again into a sweaty Tube carriage ... If you're female smile at the bloke next to you and make his day. He's probably not had sex for months."

It sounds a bit lame that her employers failed to see the funny side, especially as she was not being untruthful in her observations. Her boss had the last word, though, and must have been inspired by the very woman he fired.

London Underground is sorry to have to announce that further contracts for Miss Clarke are experiencing severe delays,