business
$17.4 bn for US auto makers bail-out
19/12/08
Breaking news
In another nervous speech today, out-going President Bush announced that US auto makers will receive a $17.4 bn hand out to restructure their companies. They have till March 31st to avoid filing bankruptcy. Bush failed to clarify which year.
These measures were met with a round of applause from auto industry consultants, legal teams and other friends of the President.
Congress, which recently vetoed these financial hand-out proposals, booed and hissed as the President flexed his executive muscle and funded the package from emergency financial rescue funds (ironically approved by Congress for the good of the nation as a whole, not for the good of 1% of it.)
Auto makers failed to comment, too embarrassed to field simple questions like, "Since Lee Iacoca went cap in hand for a bail-out in the 70's, what exactly have you clowns been doing to get your acts together?"
US tax payers tightened their belts yet again, and prepared to go buy the latest Toyota and Nissan model.
When one customer was asked why the President's speech had turned him against buying a US-made car, he said, "8 years is too long for a president like Bush, and 8 years is too much to expect from the average GM automatic transmission."
In another nervous speech today, out-going President Bush announced that US auto makers will receive a $17.4 bn hand out to restructure their companies. They have till March 31st to avoid filing bankruptcy. Bush failed to clarify which year.
These measures were met with a round of applause from auto industry consultants, legal teams and other friends of the President.
Congress, which recently vetoed these financial hand-out proposals, booed and hissed as the President flexed his executive muscle and funded the package from emergency financial rescue funds (ironically approved by Congress for the good of the nation as a whole, not for the good of 1% of it.)
Auto makers failed to comment, too embarrassed to field simple questions like, "Since Lee Iacoca went cap in hand for a bail-out in the 70's, what exactly have you clowns been doing to get your acts together?"
US tax payers tightened their belts yet again, and prepared to go buy the latest Toyota and Nissan model.
When one customer was asked why the President's speech had turned him against buying a US-made car, he said, "8 years is too long for a president like Bush, and 8 years is too much to expect from the average GM automatic transmission."
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Sort of funny stories about nail guns and nails
03/12/08
Gather round fro some fun, but beware, nailguns, nails and hammering devices are dangerous in the wrong hands. Some of this footage is distasteful!
German construction workers are renowned for their efficiency, but I bet you never realised that Kraut carpenters have a very special knack with a hammer! 30 seconds into this clip, you will see what I mean.
5 stars for that! We are having trouble at home with nails popping out the ceiling, and I definitely want one of his hammers in my tool bag.
For the squeamish, check out this Ukrainian carpenter. This is what happens when a nail gun misfires and shoots a nail into the back of your hand.
It is too late for a hammer, mate, you need a pair of pliers!
Wasn't he calm! He only started to panic once the filming stopped. It wasn't delayed shock that set him off, but a reaction to his boss' s threat to deduct the cost of the nail from his pay packet. Apparently, the boss retracted his threat when the carpenter threatened him with a video called Nailgun the Kitten to the Wall.
Nasty nailguns Although it is very unpleasant viewing, no animals were hurt in the making of this video.
The same can't be said for a kitten involved in a gruesome nailgun case in Australia. The little bundle of innocence was consumed by a pitbull. The dog then started ravaging a couple of women in the street until a tradie shot it to death with his nail gun.
The headlines were "attack dog nailed by a construction worker. but his heroics weren't appreciated by everyone. The dog's owner was distraught by the death, later confirmed as rust poisoning. And the owner of the kitten was upset to learn that within a few gruesome minutes, their pet had first been eaten whole and then turned into a pin cushion.
I think the tradesman was right to be proud of himself, acting so quickly and effectively, getting rid of a cartridge of rusty fixings in a good cause. And he earnt his crew a ton of extra work from the free advertising. It wasn't all bad was it!
Got any more nail gun horror stories?
German construction workers are renowned for their efficiency, but I bet you never realised that Kraut carpenters have a very special knack with a hammer! 30 seconds into this clip, you will see what I mean.
5 stars for that! We are having trouble at home with nails popping out the ceiling, and I definitely want one of his hammers in my tool bag.
For the squeamish, check out this Ukrainian carpenter. This is what happens when a nail gun misfires and shoots a nail into the back of your hand.
It is too late for a hammer, mate, you need a pair of pliers!
Wasn't he calm! He only started to panic once the filming stopped. It wasn't delayed shock that set him off, but a reaction to his boss' s threat to deduct the cost of the nail from his pay packet. Apparently, the boss retracted his threat when the carpenter threatened him with a video called Nailgun the Kitten to the Wall.
Nasty nailguns Although it is very unpleasant viewing, no animals were hurt in the making of this video.
The same can't be said for a kitten involved in a gruesome nailgun case in Australia. The little bundle of innocence was consumed by a pitbull. The dog then started ravaging a couple of women in the street until a tradie shot it to death with his nail gun.
The headlines were "attack dog nailed by a construction worker. but his heroics weren't appreciated by everyone. The dog's owner was distraught by the death, later confirmed as rust poisoning. And the owner of the kitten was upset to learn that within a few gruesome minutes, their pet had first been eaten whole and then turned into a pin cushion.
I think the tradesman was right to be proud of himself, acting so quickly and effectively, getting rid of a cartridge of rusty fixings in a good cause. And he earnt his crew a ton of extra work from the free advertising. It wasn't all bad was it!
Got any more nail gun horror stories?
Gibbs career training careers you to disaster
16/09/07
The advert on TV from Gibbs, the career people, has a horrifying message, I think.
"Don't want to go to college for 2 years to retrain for a new career? Try a Gibbs training course to become a health care professional in 6 weeks.
Look at the lady at the desk in the background. Yes, that poor little bored thing has just finished our indepth 6-week training course, and now look at her. She thought she was training to become an anal temperature checker and wet bed changer. We would have none of that here. Thanks to our specialist training program, she is completely revitalised and professionally inputting data 6 days week plus Sundays at time and a half of one percent. Life is good for her, thanks to Gibbs."
Another advert promises rich rewards in the field of security.
"Hey, got a baseball bat and a size 12 fist? We have some great job prospects for you, right now.
Forget going to college to learn psychology, man management and security issues, try Gibbs 3-day training course. By going the Gibbs route, you can be a high-flying security guard at your local mall before the weekend.
Free uniform, $500 boots repayable at 43% monthly compound interest, and check small print for details on fast food allowances, back-handers to shoplifters and free membership to a fitness clinic that is never open when you finish your 15 hour 7 days a week shift."
Act on the Gibbs ads and retrain with them at your peril.
"Hey, impressionable disenchanted viewer, that lucky employee smiling to the camera could be you. Break the cycle of no job and no education and no prospects. Forget college. Forget proper training. Indepth knowledge is for pussies. Here at Gibbs, we can fast track you to the bottom rung of a very long ladder. We don't want you too qualified, else how could we use and abuse you and threaten you with loss of job security.
You know it makes sense to cut corners and just get a job, any job. The Government also love us for all we have done to clear the streets of wasters. We relocate desperate folks off the streets and into open plan soulless work environments regulated by piped muzak and thinly veiled contempt."
After completing a 4 year degree, I too say, forget college. Ignore the rule of the thumb, that more you put in the more you get out. Go the 21st century route. Invest nothing and get almost nothing back, except a new job title and a short cut to a credit card and the hell that follows. Gibbs know best.
Health care professional
"Don't want to go to college for 2 years to retrain for a new career? Try a Gibbs training course to become a health care professional in 6 weeks.
Security
Another advert promises rich rewards in the field of security.
"Hey, got a baseball bat and a size 12 fist? We have some great job prospects for you, right now.
Forget going to college to learn psychology, man management and security issues, try Gibbs 3-day training course. By going the Gibbs route, you can be a high-flying security guard at your local mall before the weekend.
Free uniform, $500 boots repayable at 43% monthly compound interest, and check small print for details on fast food allowances, back-handers to shoplifters and free membership to a fitness clinic that is never open when you finish your 15 hour 7 days a week shift."
The hard sell
Act on the Gibbs ads and retrain with them at your peril.
"Hey, impressionable disenchanted viewer, that lucky employee smiling to the camera could be you. Break the cycle of no job and no education and no prospects. Forget college. Forget proper training. Indepth knowledge is for pussies. Here at Gibbs, we can fast track you to the bottom rung of a very long ladder. We don't want you too qualified, else how could we use and abuse you and threaten you with loss of job security.
You know it makes sense to cut corners and just get a job, any job. The Government also love us for all we have done to clear the streets of wasters. We relocate desperate folks off the streets and into open plan soulless work environments regulated by piped muzak and thinly veiled contempt."
Conconclusion
After completing a 4 year degree, I too say, forget college. Ignore the rule of the thumb, that more you put in the more you get out. Go the 21st century route. Invest nothing and get almost nothing back, except a new job title and a short cut to a credit card and the hell that follows. Gibbs know best.
