Jun 2007
Killer teacups
30/06/07 Filed in: Entertainment
For some reason, tea is viewed as dainty elegant drink with a fraction of the caffeine (read, kick) of coffee. Don't be so sure. The TeaCup at Dania Beach amusement park packed quite a punch, when it seriously injured a young teenage girl.
In response to the angered parent warning adults to check rides before letting their kids use them, the amusement park is making spanners and micrometers available from attendants at the entrance.
And news just in, Scotsman Dr Wee willy Wanka is claiming he can tell frustrated parents what little toddlers are trying to say, even though the wee babes cannot talk.
So far, a 2 year old from Edinburgh has managed to communicate to his parents via Wee Willy (a self-confessed PS3 addict and lifelong Celtic fan) saying that he wanted a PlayStation 3, and a season ticket to Celtic Football club home games for his birthday.
The parents obliged, but sadly, the kid rejected them.
Wee Willy saved the day again and offered to take the items off their hands. He resumes interpreting duties for the MacNicebutdims when he sobers up after the next Celtic home game. The rest of the toddler interpreting story is here, minus the pisstaker angle.
We've linked to several web search engines offering random payments & prizes! Click the icon & search the keyphrase Cadillac CTS ad or web search. It is a win-win, perhaps!
In response to the angered parent warning adults to check rides before letting their kids use them, the amusement park is making spanners and micrometers available from attendants at the entrance.
Dr Doolally
And news just in, Scotsman Dr Wee willy Wanka is claiming he can tell frustrated parents what little toddlers are trying to say, even though the wee babes cannot talk.
So far, a 2 year old from Edinburgh has managed to communicate to his parents via Wee Willy (a self-confessed PS3 addict and lifelong Celtic fan) saying that he wanted a PlayStation 3, and a season ticket to Celtic Football club home games for his birthday.
The parents obliged, but sadly, the kid rejected them.
Wee Willy saved the day again and offered to take the items off their hands. He resumes interpreting duties for the MacNicebutdims when he sobers up after the next Celtic home game. The rest of the toddler interpreting story is here, minus the pisstaker angle.
We've linked to several web search engines offering random payments & prizes! Click the icon & search the keyphrase Cadillac CTS ad or web search. It is a win-win, perhaps!
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. ETA rob a camping store in Strasbourg
According to Spanish newspaper, El Mundo, three men with Spanish accents broke into a camping store near Strasbourg and stole rucksacks, sleeping bags and most disturbingly, a bunch of lighter fuel tablets. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.
The store owner is bemused. He said they could have bought the supplies at any store in Europe, without causing a stir, and he was running a 10% discount day anyway, wtf!
The manufacturer of the fuel tablets says that one tablet could boil water for 9 minutes. Wow wee, not. I once took a tablet that boils heads for hours.
The authorities are saying the contraband could be used for incendiary devices. Like a BBQ?
The press are saying these guys are ETA because they had Spanish accents, and they stole because their organisation has no funds.
ETA are wondering what all the fuss is about. They already have their bombs in place for the next attack, have several million euros from El Gordo lottery win last Christmas stuffed away under the bed. And hey we are Basque, not bloody Spanish.
And El Mundo is a reliable paper?
We've linked to several web search engines offering random payments & prizes! Click the icon & search the keyphrase Cadillac CTS ad or web search. It is a win-win, perhaps!
The store owner is bemused. He said they could have bought the supplies at any store in Europe, without causing a stir, and he was running a 10% discount day anyway, wtf!
The manufacturer of the fuel tablets says that one tablet could boil water for 9 minutes. Wow wee, not. I once took a tablet that boils heads for hours.
The authorities are saying the contraband could be used for incendiary devices. Like a BBQ?
The press are saying these guys are ETA because they had Spanish accents, and they stole because their organisation has no funds.
ETA are wondering what all the fuss is about. They already have their bombs in place for the next attack, have several million euros from El Gordo lottery win last Christmas stuffed away under the bed. And hey we are Basque, not bloody Spanish.
And El Mundo is a reliable paper?
We've linked to several web search engines offering random payments & prizes! Click the icon & search the keyphrase Cadillac CTS ad or web search. It is a win-win, perhaps!
Coney Island Mermaid parade over?
25/06/07 Filed in: Entertainment
Amidst rumors that The Coney Island Mermaid Parade is ending this year, deluded organisers claim it is going to go on past its silver wedding anniversary, and celebrate every year in fine style until its 50th - and beyond. This is a bold claim for a couple of sound reasons.
The Mermaids are lucky to get this far, judging by the history of Coney Island traditions that are already dead in the water. Mardi Gras anyone? Even if the Mermaid Parade, little more than a totally mini shadow of carneval, were to revamp, reinvent itself and increase the nudity, pizzazz and drama tenfold, the reality is, it still wouldn't make it past next year. The bulk of the amusement park where it takes place, is being sold off to a developer.
As Texan realtor and part-time celebrity psychologist, Dr Splash McGraw, pointed out, "Good luck with a 50th parade celebration, buddy. Be happy you got this far. You may own the Mermaid building, but the person with the land under it is unlikely to let the raucous parade stand in the way of Waterworld or whatever the plan entails.
Now look, it ain't looking great, but I can help you. I used to be a merman for 35 years and I had to make changes, and here I am today before you happy as a fish out of water. So what you want to do is wise up and integrate your mermaids back into the community while they still have a chance. And I am willing to help them do that, if you will stop flapping around, and encourage the mermaids to stand up on their own two feet and acknowledge the problem."
Unperturbed, the organiser mumbled that his mermaids were resilient, adaptable and could easily survive under a water park, if that were the destiny of his shiny office building.
Exasperated, Splash Mcgraw resorted to strong-arming the Mermaids into his way of thinking, by humiliating them on public TV. After going round in circles for an hour, they burst into crocodile tears and stormed off, unconvinced.
The developer denied any specific plans for the land on Coney Island, but gave a big hint when he said, Watch parade 26, code-named over and out, weave its way around 450 new luxury condos. The complex will be built to last 100 years and no parade is going to stop me realising my dream.
Meteorologists from the local weather center added fuel to the debate when they reminded the developer of changing weather patterns.
If it is still going, The Mermaid Parade could definitely take place underwater in 2020 in the wake of Hurricane Robin. Therefore, may we humbly suggest that if it is axed next year, someone enterprising should at least put the costumes and floats in cold storage until 2019. At that time, re-launch the event and market the bejesus out of it. Then in the following year, when the hurricane has blown itself out and the resulting tidal wave has subsided, they should open the flood gates and double the price of admission. Disneyland uses this bait and burn tactic all the time with new theme parks worldwide.
This story is clearly not at an end.
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The future is bleak based on the past and present
The Mermaids are lucky to get this far, judging by the history of Coney Island traditions that are already dead in the water. Mardi Gras anyone? Even if the Mermaid Parade, little more than a totally mini shadow of carneval, were to revamp, reinvent itself and increase the nudity, pizzazz and drama tenfold, the reality is, it still wouldn't make it past next year. The bulk of the amusement park where it takes place, is being sold off to a developer.
Specialist advice from a Dr McGraw
As Texan realtor and part-time celebrity psychologist, Dr Splash McGraw, pointed out, "Good luck with a 50th parade celebration, buddy. Be happy you got this far. You may own the Mermaid building, but the person with the land under it is unlikely to let the raucous parade stand in the way of Waterworld or whatever the plan entails.
Now look, it ain't looking great, but I can help you. I used to be a merman for 35 years and I had to make changes, and here I am today before you happy as a fish out of water. So what you want to do is wise up and integrate your mermaids back into the community while they still have a chance. And I am willing to help them do that, if you will stop flapping around, and encourage the mermaids to stand up on their own two feet and acknowledge the problem."
Unperturbed, the organiser mumbled that his mermaids were resilient, adaptable and could easily survive under a water park, if that were the destiny of his shiny office building.
Exasperated, Splash Mcgraw resorted to strong-arming the Mermaids into his way of thinking, by humiliating them on public TV. After going round in circles for an hour, they burst into crocodile tears and stormed off, unconvinced.
The financier's response
The developer denied any specific plans for the land on Coney Island, but gave a big hint when he said, Watch parade 26, code-named over and out, weave its way around 450 new luxury condos. The complex will be built to last 100 years and no parade is going to stop me realising my dream.
Hurricane Robin could work in the Mermaids' favor
Meteorologists from the local weather center added fuel to the debate when they reminded the developer of changing weather patterns.
If it is still going, The Mermaid Parade could definitely take place underwater in 2020 in the wake of Hurricane Robin. Therefore, may we humbly suggest that if it is axed next year, someone enterprising should at least put the costumes and floats in cold storage until 2019. At that time, re-launch the event and market the bejesus out of it. Then in the following year, when the hurricane has blown itself out and the resulting tidal wave has subsided, they should open the flood gates and double the price of admission. Disneyland uses this bait and burn tactic all the time with new theme parks worldwide.
This story is clearly not at an end.
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Poland sparks EU controversy over Nazis
The Polish Prime Minister is singlehandedly ensuring that the EU continues to be an inefficient mega expensive political, I mean economic, backward thinking behemoth. Amazing as it may seem, he blames the shortage of Polish voting clout in the European Union today on Nazi Germany!
Voting power in the EU takes account of an irrefutable statistic, that of population per nation. When giving reasons for why his country deserves more voting power, the Polish minister said the Nazis had killed loads of his people, thus reducing his ability to vote today.
He has demonstrated not one ounce of forward-thinking European logic. In fact, talk about being tainted with a selective retrograde mindset. Let's do the math. Adolf Hitler, the agent of decimation of 6 million Poles, the monster who almost destroyed Europe was born in 1889. How can a 118 year old guy, who also destroyed German democracy, have anything to do with modern day Germany or Poland's national voting rights in the 21st century? The EU is the antithesis of nazism.
And if you read this chilling document on genocides, you will see that millions upon millions of everyone have been killed this century. What a memory for such a retard. Makes you want to give the Pole a pole and stick it somewhere dark and constricted. And I am not referring to his head.
To be honest, if he had just called the Germans wankers, he couldn't have insulted them any more than he did. The only reason the European Union exists today is because Germany and Fance were so terrified of a repeat World War that they tore and have torn themselves (and member states) inside out trying to get things right and peaceful to everyone's satisfaction.
That a minor member comes in and basically infers that the Germans of today had any say over the Nazis of 60 years ago is unbelievable. It is a bit like Apple saying they are small compared to Microsoft because Bill Gates ancestors were Luddites.
Watch out for more exciting developments. With inflammatory remarks like that floating around, we may see history repeated and the moderate Germans of today may just lay down their green morals and re-invade Poland.
We've linked to several web search engines offering random payments & prizes! Click the icon & search the keyphrase Cadillac CTS ad or web search. It is a win-win, perhaps!
Votes, Nazis, nasty logic
Voting power in the EU takes account of an irrefutable statistic, that of population per nation. When giving reasons for why his country deserves more voting power, the Polish minister said the Nazis had killed loads of his people, thus reducing his ability to vote today.
He has demonstrated not one ounce of forward-thinking European logic. In fact, talk about being tainted with a selective retrograde mindset. Let's do the math. Adolf Hitler, the agent of decimation of 6 million Poles, the monster who almost destroyed Europe was born in 1889. How can a 118 year old guy, who also destroyed German democracy, have anything to do with modern day Germany or Poland's national voting rights in the 21st century? The EU is the antithesis of nazism.
And if you read this chilling document on genocides, you will see that millions upon millions of everyone have been killed this century. What a memory for such a retard. Makes you want to give the Pole a pole and stick it somewhere dark and constricted. And I am not referring to his head.
Ultimate insults
To be honest, if he had just called the Germans wankers, he couldn't have insulted them any more than he did. The only reason the European Union exists today is because Germany and Fance were so terrified of a repeat World War that they tore and have torn themselves (and member states) inside out trying to get things right and peaceful to everyone's satisfaction.
That a minor member comes in and basically infers that the Germans of today had any say over the Nazis of 60 years ago is unbelievable. It is a bit like Apple saying they are small compared to Microsoft because Bill Gates ancestors were Luddites.
Watch out for more exciting developments. With inflammatory remarks like that floating around, we may see history repeated and the moderate Germans of today may just lay down their green morals and re-invade Poland.
We've linked to several web search engines offering random payments & prizes! Click the icon & search the keyphrase Cadillac CTS ad or web search. It is a win-win, perhaps!
Anti hopsicle or frozen beer on a stick laws suck
22/06/07 Filed in: Life style
In the news Tuesday, the rising popularity of Frozen Beer on a stick, or Hopsicle as the restaurateur is calling his latest creation, is raising concerns amongst anti-fun lobbyists and traffic cops. The Pisstakers can reveal that if legislators have their way, Sucking and driving will soon be illegal in the North East of America.
No way should there be so much fun on a stick, says one politician.
Way says the Environmental lobby trying to reduce brown paper bag usage amongst alcoholics. This is the perfect vehicle for transporting your alcoholic beverage of choice in public without littering.
Police are saying No way for the highway. There is currently no law to prevent you sucking a lollipop while driving, but consuming alcohol at the wheel will get you jailed. So anti hopsiclist cops suggest Two sucks and you are banned. That should keep the revenues rolling in - and as a spin off, keep the roads safe.
However the financial implications of stopping vehicles and testing the alcohol content of lollipops and ice creams has some police wincing. New Jersey police spokesman, Adolf Nofun, commented, Controlling use of this product will bring traffic to a stop and prevent the police from carrying out more important law enforcement duties, like ticketing parents for smoking in a car full of kids.
Family welfare agencies are also worried. If Moms are caught sucking a Hopsicle while smoking on the school run, thousands of families will be without an irresponsible mother for months at a time. They are therefore fighting any anti-Hopsicle legislation with a condescending passion.
And finally, after being locked up for drunk driving, sex on a stick media whore, Paris Hilton, has been reported as saying that she is now angling to become the first celebrity to be jailed and counseled repeatedly for sucking and driving. Hugh Grant was only embarrassed by Devine Brown beyond all reasonable doubt when caught being sucked while a passenger in a taxi, so Paris has a legitimate claim if she pulls this next publicity stunt off.
The Pisstakers, however, are questioning why there is any issue at all, because as far as they know, the alcoholic content of North American beers is so low that the frozen beer Hopsicle is barely more intoxicating than a frozen wine gum!
We've linked to several web search engines offering random payments & prizes! Click the icon & search the keyphrase Cadillac CTS ad or web search. It is a win-win, perhaps!
What the politicos say about hopsicles
No way should there be so much fun on a stick, says one politician.
Way says the Environmental lobby trying to reduce brown paper bag usage amongst alcoholics. This is the perfect vehicle for transporting your alcoholic beverage of choice in public without littering.
The police's voice of reason
Police are saying No way for the highway. There is currently no law to prevent you sucking a lollipop while driving, but consuming alcohol at the wheel will get you jailed. So anti hopsiclist cops suggest Two sucks and you are banned. That should keep the revenues rolling in - and as a spin off, keep the roads safe.
However the financial implications of stopping vehicles and testing the alcohol content of lollipops and ice creams has some police wincing. New Jersey police spokesman, Adolf Nofun, commented, Controlling use of this product will bring traffic to a stop and prevent the police from carrying out more important law enforcement duties, like ticketing parents for smoking in a car full of kids.
Family welfare agencies are also worried. If Moms are caught sucking a Hopsicle while smoking on the school run, thousands of families will be without an irresponsible mother for months at a time. They are therefore fighting any anti-Hopsicle legislation with a condescending passion.
Paris Hilton on Hopsicles
And finally, after being locked up for drunk driving, sex on a stick media whore, Paris Hilton, has been reported as saying that she is now angling to become the first celebrity to be jailed and counseled repeatedly for sucking and driving. Hugh Grant was only embarrassed by Devine Brown beyond all reasonable doubt when caught being sucked while a passenger in a taxi, so Paris has a legitimate claim if she pulls this next publicity stunt off.
The Pisstakers, however, are questioning why there is any issue at all, because as far as they know, the alcoholic content of North American beers is so low that the frozen beer Hopsicle is barely more intoxicating than a frozen wine gum!
We've linked to several web search engines offering random payments & prizes! Click the icon & search the keyphrase Cadillac CTS ad or web search. It is a win-win, perhaps!
Nigerian general strike a bribe away from ending?
20/06/07 Filed in: Life style
This is an experimental format. The video beneath the article may load fast or slow, and may fit on the page, who knows with Beta stuff? Please persevere too if there is a short intrusive ad ahead of a really useful but totally random news report.
It seems as if the Nigerians have had enough of the oil-related economic mess they are in and gone on strike. I wonder who will pay the first bribe to get them all back to work?
Go on, here's 50 cents off your next shanty house purchase and a 2 cents a gallon coupon off of gas for the car you cannot afford to buy. And by the way, forget the billions that multinationals have made in the course of wrecking your environment with leaky pipe lines and refineries. Hurry, get back to it!
Of course the rip-offs causing the strike action start from the top and conditions are bad even for highly trained Nigerians employed by the oil companies. Ask the off-shore divers to compare pay checks with their ex-pat work mates and then you'll see what I mean.
In terms of a solution, how much for instance would you pay for a gallon to ensure the Nigerians had a decent standard of living? Personally, I have been almost scammed so many times by citizens of that fair land that the extent of my contribution to their well-being is limited to apathetic posts like this, asking you to do something while I do nothing.
We've linked to several web search engines offering random payments & prizes! Click the icon & search the keyphrase Cadillac CTS ad or web search. It is a win-win, perhaps!
It seems as if the Nigerians have had enough of the oil-related economic mess they are in and gone on strike. I wonder who will pay the first bribe to get them all back to work?
Go on, here's 50 cents off your next shanty house purchase and a 2 cents a gallon coupon off of gas for the car you cannot afford to buy. And by the way, forget the billions that multinationals have made in the course of wrecking your environment with leaky pipe lines and refineries. Hurry, get back to it!
Of course the rip-offs causing the strike action start from the top and conditions are bad even for highly trained Nigerians employed by the oil companies. Ask the off-shore divers to compare pay checks with their ex-pat work mates and then you'll see what I mean.
In terms of a solution, how much for instance would you pay for a gallon to ensure the Nigerians had a decent standard of living? Personally, I have been almost scammed so many times by citizens of that fair land that the extent of my contribution to their well-being is limited to apathetic posts like this, asking you to do something while I do nothing.
We've linked to several web search engines offering random payments & prizes! Click the icon & search the keyphrase Cadillac CTS ad or web search. It is a win-win, perhaps!
Photo gallery of news
20/06/07 Filed in: Photos
Single photo gallery - news
New pictures are delivered here auto-magically, one at a time, for your pleasure. If you need to see a bigger version, click & leave for a look at some more examples. See you later!
We sort of know what the content is going to be like, but occasionally a freako may get one past the censors. Just blush quietly and move on at your own liability.
Princess Diana may turn in her grave
20/06/07 Filed in: Entertainment | Diana
Celebrity Insider Photos and News is a cracking new entertainment site with a touch of Cornish humor, I believe. The revelation that The Spice Girls may reunite for a concert to help the Diana Memorial fund had me concerned though. Has anyone heard these people sing lately? Poor Di may turn in her grave when they tune up and let us have it.
Take Posh. (I know some of you want to take her and drop her somewhere, but let's be serious for one moment.)After years of living it up in Madrid and screeching Die-vid, donday esters los kids? how much has Peseta Spice, Victoria, got left in the vocal tank? Not as much as she has in the bank, for sure.
The only one who could sing anything was Sporty Spice, but what can one do in a crowd of off-key crooners? I used to love her because she actually had talent, she was pretty ugly but always smiled and she admitted to being called Holland at school. How cool is that for being comfortable with your body, in this day of de rigeur big busty implants for flat chested celebs?
Well, I will leave the gossip to the UK expert, and be glad I am totally out of touch with the piles of gossip that just keep on rolling out of that insignificant island off the coast of Southern Ireland. And if anyone sees the ghost of Diana on concert night, we know who to blame.
We've linked to several web search engines offering random payments & prizes! Click the icon & search the keyphrase Cadillac CTS ad or web search. It is a win-win, perhaps!
USA is a receptacle for Chinese goods
When the American government announces one day in the nearish future that China is now the biggest economy in the world and owns half of the US, don't hold your hands up in surprise and horror. And when the current wages of illegals seem like the good old days of fair pay, don't be dismayed. Just remember you heard it hear first on the 15th June 2007!
Housing boom boosts Chinese imports
It is simple inexorable economics. After dressing up a whole house for rental purposes and going half mad in the process, I can categorically state that the post 9-11 US housing boom has provided a bomb-proof platform for China to dominate the world economically. American homes are expensive receptacles for Chinese goods. Every piece of furniture, every frame, piece of cutlery, cookware, rug, corkscrew, you name it, however carefully you shop, bears the mark of a poor Chinese prisoner.
If it has Ikea or Walmart stamped on it, or has any wicker, cane or chintz in it, that item is not made in the US of A - and if it is sold to you in a US superstore by a retiree or school leaver, that equates to a US workforce getting poorer. Head for the fields, the wages there are looking quite good.
Wall St endorses the decline
And now the stock market is going mad over news of low inflation. They are of course ignoring gas prices in the equation, er, in a nation dependent on gas. Good one! That is the end of sanity. The rest of the demise of the US economy is like the A to Z of how to choke yourself on a golden egg.
I cannot believe I am the only pisstaker with a basic grasp of economics who can see the way it is going. I can only presume there are a few knowledgeable people making a quick buck on Wall St?
The red terrors are warring on US soil
One thought that crossed my mind in my delirium as I buckled under the weight of a sofa - maybe the Chinese instigated the war on terror. It makes sense. As I said earlier, a house-building resurgence dragged the flagging US economy along after 9-11, China has the merchandise to equip the empty shells... just a mischievous idea!
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