Anti hopsicle or frozen beer on a stick laws suck
22/06/07 Filed in: Life style
In the news Tuesday, the rising popularity of Frozen Beer on a stick, or Hopsicle as the restaurateur is calling his latest creation, is raising concerns amongst anti-fun lobbyists and traffic cops. The Pisstakers can reveal that if legislators have their way, Sucking and driving will soon be illegal in the North East of America.
No way should there be so much fun on a stick, says one politician.
Way says the Environmental lobby trying to reduce brown paper bag usage amongst alcoholics. This is the perfect vehicle for transporting your alcoholic beverage of choice in public without littering.
Police are saying No way for the highway. There is currently no law to prevent you sucking a lollipop while driving, but consuming alcohol at the wheel will get you jailed. So anti hopsiclist cops suggest Two sucks and you are banned. That should keep the revenues rolling in - and as a spin off, keep the roads safe.
However the financial implications of stopping vehicles and testing the alcohol content of lollipops and ice creams has some police wincing. New Jersey police spokesman, Adolf Nofun, commented, Controlling use of this product will bring traffic to a stop and prevent the police from carrying out more important law enforcement duties, like ticketing parents for smoking in a car full of kids.
Family welfare agencies are also worried. If Moms are caught sucking a Hopsicle while smoking on the school run, thousands of families will be without an irresponsible mother for months at a time. They are therefore fighting any anti-Hopsicle legislation with a condescending passion.
And finally, after being locked up for drunk driving, sex on a stick media whore, Paris Hilton, has been reported as saying that she is now angling to become the first celebrity to be jailed and counseled repeatedly for sucking and driving. Hugh Grant was only embarrassed by Devine Brown beyond all reasonable doubt when caught being sucked while a passenger in a taxi, so Paris has a legitimate claim if she pulls this next publicity stunt off.
The Pisstakers, however, are questioning why there is any issue at all, because as far as they know, the alcoholic content of North American beers is so low that the frozen beer Hopsicle is barely more intoxicating than a frozen wine gum!
We've linked to several web search engines offering random payments & prizes! Click the icon & search the keyphrase Cadillac CTS ad or web search. It is a win-win, perhaps!
What the politicos say about hopsicles
No way should there be so much fun on a stick, says one politician.
Way says the Environmental lobby trying to reduce brown paper bag usage amongst alcoholics. This is the perfect vehicle for transporting your alcoholic beverage of choice in public without littering.
The police's voice of reason
Police are saying No way for the highway. There is currently no law to prevent you sucking a lollipop while driving, but consuming alcohol at the wheel will get you jailed. So anti hopsiclist cops suggest Two sucks and you are banned. That should keep the revenues rolling in - and as a spin off, keep the roads safe.
However the financial implications of stopping vehicles and testing the alcohol content of lollipops and ice creams has some police wincing. New Jersey police spokesman, Adolf Nofun, commented, Controlling use of this product will bring traffic to a stop and prevent the police from carrying out more important law enforcement duties, like ticketing parents for smoking in a car full of kids.
Family welfare agencies are also worried. If Moms are caught sucking a Hopsicle while smoking on the school run, thousands of families will be without an irresponsible mother for months at a time. They are therefore fighting any anti-Hopsicle legislation with a condescending passion.
Paris Hilton on Hopsicles
And finally, after being locked up for drunk driving, sex on a stick media whore, Paris Hilton, has been reported as saying that she is now angling to become the first celebrity to be jailed and counseled repeatedly for sucking and driving. Hugh Grant was only embarrassed by Devine Brown beyond all reasonable doubt when caught being sucked while a passenger in a taxi, so Paris has a legitimate claim if she pulls this next publicity stunt off.
The Pisstakers, however, are questioning why there is any issue at all, because as far as they know, the alcoholic content of North American beers is so low that the frozen beer Hopsicle is barely more intoxicating than a frozen wine gum!
We've linked to several web search engines offering random payments & prizes! Click the icon & search the keyphrase Cadillac CTS ad or web search. It is a win-win, perhaps!
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. Radio DJ's, Jersey Guys, get hot under the collar with another DJ.
17/05/07 Filed in: Politics
Did you hear about the Jersey Guys radio hosts who recently had a run-in with the law? Or to be more accurate, they brushed heavy hitting handbags with a lawman called DJ. Mr D Jones used his position to publicise the minor shock jocks' personal details at a press conference.
The rucous
It was quite amusing at first, hearing how the police representative had responded to a leaked story about proposed police impropriety. Instead of responding graciously and diplomatically, as per his job, the police spokesman, DJ (aka Davy Jones, not the Monkee!) went on the attack and scared the living crap out the radio station. He didn't hang back, giving out the real DJs' home address, license plates and who knows what else, to the press.
The Jersey Guys' response
On reflection, like 20 minutes later, the voracious Jersey Guys took a big gulp. They started by reiterating their proof of a closed police forum discussion about a rigged speed ticketing campaign planned for May in New Jersey. Once that was out the way, they announced that they wouldn't return to the air until their personal safety and their family's welfare was assured. Cue a string of old rock tunes and a reminder of what radio was all about - music.
The true shock from the jocks
Anyways, the stunt by the police man was a bit shocking, to put it mildly, and inexcusable if you have half an ounce of fair play in your veins. But even more shocking to us was when we tuned in the following day to hear none other than ... the Jersey Guys!!! It was nothing to do with assurances of safety made in haste in the night, nothing quite so cut and dry.
In my estimation they were back so soon to effect a quick backlash of their own and ride the publicity stunt some more. It was Friday, after all, and the weekend would swamp the story and everyone would forgot the shennanigans by Monday morning. Just my opinion.
So what were the police guys thinking?
Whenever there is trouble, who is the first person you call? The police. But they aren't always so popular, especially when there is irrefutable living proof (from a private keyword-protected police-only forum) that a few too many yahoos in uniform are patrolling the roads, and they don't have the public's interests at heart.
It appears that certain voracious cops saw nothing wrong with online chat in support of an idea to pump up the revenues for May via a campaign against motorists. The plan was to clobber anyone driving barely a needle's width over the limit. How reassuring, not. Have you seen the needle dance as you drive over the potholes? The irony of being ticketed for accelerating out of a pothole left unrepaired by the state!
What are the public now thinking?
After hearing such behavior from a minority of troopers, there was some knee jerk public uproar. To be honest, the mind does wander. Maybe a dose of their own medicine is in order? Let the plebs in cars ticket the troopers who zoom to within 2 foot of a car bumper in the outside lane, horn beeping, expressing their undisguised aggression. We have all seen the effect too on nervy drivers, and seen the way police can "push" the "offender" out the way before zooming off again.
The galling thing is, that time and again, this stunt is for no apparent reason, other than the race is on to get to base before the coffee and donuts get cold?
On balance, what has this incident shown?
Back on earth, you have to wonder if the Jersey Guys' reaction was correct. They came across as affronted but astute media whores. The police representative showed himself as incompetent and inappropriate under pressure. The story reinforced some stereotypes that the police could have done without at a time when they are under the spotlight. Nobody had a good result out of this episode
So, I guess now, everyone knows a little better what comes with the territory when you think bad thoughts and worse, get caught expressing them. And there is no doubting the risk when you cross swords with angered officials with guns or threaten DJs with a microphone and a large audience. Can we assume that this wake up call will calm it down from the Jersey Guys? Will it f___! The outings of public misbehavior will continue.
Conconclusion
I wonder what the next exciting episode will bring? A backlash against the Jersey Guys for reporting on the owners of the Jihad Pizzeria, the one where the delivery boy was planning to blow up soldiers? Let's hope not.
