Rasmussen banned! The yellow jersey in the world's biggest race has joined the pre-race favorite, Vinokourov, in the hall of shame. He has been asked to leave, do not pass go, do not collect $200, bugger off and take your drugged up ass to a place where the sun doesn't shine. (He is from Denmark, not Finland, the land of the midnight sun, but we get the idea.) With 2 favorites and wannabe, Moreni, banned, is the whole race a flop?

Tour de Drug test

The essence of this druggy crapola incident is that the anti-doping measures work in the worst cases, so no flop there! There were 189 men at the start of the Tour de France, and there was little reason to suspect they were ALL cheats. The forlorn hope was there were NO cheats.

Now we know that out of roughly 200, the competitors comprise 1% total pisstaker, 99% straight-to-unproven cheater. So that makes the tour competitors a big majority of honest folks? Ever the optimist, yes. I await the revelation that the whole lot of 'em are mobile druggies, but til then, let's keep to the sensationalism and focus on the known idiots.

Danish brake on

Ras, the sizzling Danish athlete, who has been leaving the best climbers for dust in the heat of the mountains, has been stopped in his tracks by drug testers.

It appears that in an effort to keep cycling drug-free, pros are required to be contactable during the whole year. Rasmussen was due for a random test, but the slippery worm claimed he was on holiday in Mexico, stoned on tequila, I believe, unconscious and untestable. In fact, he was sipping on chianti while getting synthetically enhanced in Italy. Tut, tut and hats off to the authorities for persisting with their investigations into Rasmussen. They got him, but at great cost to his competitors too.

The victims

A mix of shock, anger and embarrassment permeates from the peloton. They know millions of words will be written about the bad guys, while the honest cyclists will only get a passing reference tainted with doubt about their integrity. A shame.

The real victims

Forget the feelings and integrity of racers already at their peak, what about us keen enthusiasts? The main problem now for all cyclists is the pointing finger syndrome. I feel quite self-conscious now, because people I pass at 11mph flat out may be thinking that I am chemically enhanced. The shame, how dare they. I have worked hard to get down from 300 to 298lbs in the last month. Heart-wrenching! I can only imagine the dejection, if you have been training since age 14 only to be lambasted in the fall-out of some Scandinavian punk's attempts at cheating. Shame.

Conconclusion

The yellow jersey is the symbol of the race, worn by a warrior on 2 wheels, beating off all who try to take his lead. It is the aim of every team leader to wear the threads. Unfortunately, when you have an extra lung, it is easy to dominate the pretenders. Rasmussen was high on who-knows-what cow's blood performance enhancer, and Vinokourov took a blood transfusion during his supper, both trying to keep in contention. Luckily they both got involved in a contentious incident alright, being kicked out the race for cheating. So the race is a flop for them two, but let's not write off 186 other guys till we have proof positive.

Tags: Tour De France